There are half a dozen things I do once every year: I go to the dentist, I go to the Super Bowl, I go to a restaurant that's too expensive to go to twice, and I go to the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show in Madison Square Garden.
I talked to a lot of the dogs at the show this year and I can't get over how friendly they all are. I have never met a mean dog at the dog show. I like the dogs better than their handlers usually. Some handlers do really dumb things to their dogs, tying ribbons in their hair. A dog doesn't want a colored ribbon in his hair. They tie up their ears in an unnatural position.
There were a few really homely dogs this year. One is called a Chinese Crested something, from Poland. Now, why would anyone bother to bring a dog this homely all the way from Poland? Probably flew first class, too.
You see a lot of dogs in the dog show that you never see anywhere else. I often don't know what kind of a dog I'm talking to.
They said one was called a Black Russian Terrier. We missed seeing the bulldogs at the show this year. Spencer was the bulldog my family grew up with.
There was also what they call a Clumber Spaniel that someone put a hat on. Leave the dog alone, for goodness sake.
The thing you notice is how interested the dogs are in eating. The handlers always have something for them to eat in their hand. It's the only thing that motivates dogs.
Handlers want their feet one way, the dogs want them another. Handlers are never satisfied with the way their dog holds its tail.
I came away with one strong feeling. There ought to be a show where dogs show their handlers.
Written By Andy Rooney