Java With Jamie: Amanda Kloots on grief, life and love
You likely know her from "The Talk." But Amanda Kloots also has Broadway dancer, author, actress and fitness instructor on her resume.
Kloots lost her husband, Nick Cordero, nearly three years ago after a long battle with Covid.
Now, to keep his memory alive with their young son Elvis, she's written a children's book called "Tell Me Your Dreams."
Kloots sat down with me at her kitchen table to have Java With Jamie. Kloots is the second youngest of five siblings.
Her Hollywood Hills home is filled with pictures of her 3-year-old son Elvis, all of his many toys, and now, on the kitchen table, a book written for him called "Tell Me Your Dreams."
"One night he didn't want to go to bed still and so I just said 'Do you want me to tell you your dreams?'" said Kloots. "It started to be such a sweet thing we were doing every night, and I would leave and come sit on the couch and would just hold my heart and I would just be like 'Gosh, maybe this is a children's book,' and so, luckily Harper Collins thought the same, and here we are.
"I love trying to think of ways that Elvis can connect with his dad, and ways that he can interact with him, and create memories with him, I guess, and this is such a great way, because I've had beautiful dreams of Nick visiting me, so I'm sure that he has visited Elvis, and why not go to bed hoping and thinking that 'Tonight I'm going to have an amazing dream where I get to go on an adventure with my dad,'" said Kloots.
Kloots lost her husband, Broadway actor Nick Cordero, from complications from Covid in 2020.
"This July will be the third anniversary," said Kloots. "It's funny, you grow a lot stronger because you have to, you move forward because you have to. Elvis helps me tremendously with that. But I think where grief is hard right now is that there's so much I wish I could share with Nick, or that I could sit on the couch and have him hold me through or just give me hug and a kiss and say 'Everything's going to be OK.' Or witness things that Elvis is doing, especially because he's so much like his dad, that there's times where it's just a random Monday night and he's sitting in there playing the drums, and I just wish that Nick was sitting next to me. And he is, you know, I know he is. He's around. I think that's why year two, year three, it does not, it doesn't get easier. Because life keeps happening and you just keep missing and wanting that person to be with you during those moments in your life."
That grief is forever present in Kloots's life, but she keeps going, and she documented her journey in her first book she wrote with her sister Anna, called "Live Your Life."
What do you wish people knew about a grief journey?
"To be gentle. To not judge. I think that's the hardest thing, to not judge," said Kloots. "You don't know how hard it is to walk in anybody's shoes. Anytime I have to go away for work, that I'm not a good mom, because I'm constantly traveling and constantly away from my son. When I started dating again, that was a whole big thing, where I was getting judged for going on a date.
"I think that's where my years of Broadway really prepared me well. I have very thick skin. It is very hard to offend me."
Never offended and always persistent are likely Kloots's biggest traits.
You're a Midwest girl.
"I'm a Midwest girl, huge dreams. I knew I wanted to be on Broadway when I was in sixth grade, and I convinced my parents to let me move to New York to go to a musical theater conservatory, I don't know why they said yes," said Kloots. "They dropped me off in New York City, I go to school for musical theater, and luckily two days before I graduate I booked a national tour of the Broadway show '42nd Street' and I started my Broadway career. And I did that and film and TV for 16 years."
Kloots performed in musicals and is a former member of the dance company The Rockettes. Broadway is where she met Nick Cordero, fell in love and decided to try something else.
"I just took a leap, started my own business, and luckily -- it didn't succeed right away, but after some hard work and blood, sweat and tears, about eight months into the business, it kind of took off. I created my own jump-rope. And then now I have my own fitness app and everything, and that was sort of like how that kind of transformed my life."
She and her sister also launched the apparel company Hooray For. Then came a co-hosting spot on "The Talk," a fourth-place finish in 2021 on "Dancing With The Stars," while also executive-producing and acting in the movie "Fit for Christmas."
"It does keep you busy. Sometimes I think it's like my defense mechanism, I'm sure it is. If I was playing therapist on myself, which I love to do, a therapist would probably be like 'Are you just working and working and working so you don't have to deal with other things in your life?' And I would say, I don't know, maybe I am. I mean, if I look back at my life though, it's kind of what I've always done, I've always been a workhorse. I've always been a hustler," said Kloots.
Kloots tries to focus on her personal life when she can.
Do you think you'll fall in love again?
"Oh my God, I hope so, yeah," said Kloots. "I hope so. I'm very picky. I don't get a chance to date a lot just because of life and how busy life is. So I hope it will be a very special person that kind of takes me by surprise. I want lighting to strike, Jamie. We'll see."
And while she waits for that, Kloots reflects on the man who will always have part of her heart.
What do you think Nick would think about everything?
"I think he has been a part of everything," said Kloots. "I would hope that he would be very proud. I promised him when he passed away that I would do anything and everything in life for our little boy, so I hope that I'm making him proud."
Amanda Kloots says she has a lot more to create, too. She just wrote a screenplay based on her book "Live Your Life," and she hopes to make it into a movie in the future.
