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The Sochi Olympics Sound Like A Hilarious Disaster

(CBS) -- Let's be honest. You probably never heard of Sochi until it was selected to host the 2014 Winter Olympics.

But that's OK. The Olympics are a great two and a half week infomercial for the host city, so there's plenty of time to learn about the small resort town on the coast of the Black Sea.

So here's what we've learned about Sochi so far:

1. The water might not actually be water. Whatever you do, don't put it on your face.
2. Some of the buildings are not really buildings. But hey, you can't destroy what you don't build.

3. The boardwalk features Super Mario Bros. warp zones.
4. Dogs love Sochi. Sochi doesn't love dogs. Apparently they need to murder them all.

5. Lobbies are optional is this "resort" town.
6. Toilet paper is not meant for toilets.
7. Don't worry, if your hotel room isn't ready yet, the nice folks in Sochi will build you one.
8. The best way to enjoy Sochi is to keep an open mind.

9. Sharing is encouraged.

10. If you ever visit Sochi, this is one of the many luxurious rooms you can stay in.
Sochi sure sounds like an amazing place. There's so much more to learn over the next few weeks.

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