Watch CBS News

Spiegel: Presenting The Ultimate Meatball

Matt Spiegel, co-host, The Danny Mac Show.

I love when the true, fearless, exhibitionist meatballs dress for their moment in the sun. You know, those brave few that happily paint the face and remove the shirt in hopes of looking so ridiculous, network TV decides an entire nation should be able to laugh at them. Fandoms need these people, and these people seem to be having a wonderful time expressing their fire and passion with zeal. Bless these boneheads.

Last Sunday brought us the pink-faced, bloated, seemingly hairless oaf in Bears overalls with no shirt underneath, and a Bear-head hat. Fox gave him lots of air time.

I want more.

Here, thanks to listener Steve from The Nimble Group, is the visual representation of one man's ultimate meatball.

Spiegel visualizes, Nimble Steve brings him to life.

Note the items Nimble Steve helped me visualize:

1) The full body bear pelt, with blood freshly dripping from the teeth, worn as a cape. It is of course painted blue and orange. I would accept a bear-skin rug, but bonus points are granted for the actual pelt.

2) He is shirtless underneath, with cold-pinkened skin, and exposed moobs. He has painted a Sweetness "34" across his chest, with a "Green Bay Sucks" just below at belly level.

3) He wears a sausage link necklace, which is replaced weekly. The original is tailgate fodder for a future game.

4) He sports cutoff Bears Zubas, which are shredded menacingly just below the knee.

5) He has tattooed Ditka's face onto his own, mustache and all. The Blublockers are his own.

6) The foam finger is purchased freshly on game day. Where the money comes from, I have no idea.

If you see this man in the wild, please capture him for the kind of museum life we deserve him to lead. Thanks.

For the full size picture of the Ultimate Meatball click HERE

View CBS News In
CBS News App Open
Chrome Safari Continue
Be the first to know
Get browser notifications for breaking news, live events, and exclusive reporting.