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Cure For Boredom: April's Best Events

Mason Johnson

I know what you're thinking: "Oh, hey, it's supposed to start getting nice out. I should go outside and do stuff! This is such a great idea!"

WRONG. That is a horrible idea.

You just spent all winter locked inside the safety and warmth of your apartment, why would you ruin that now by leaving? If you start going out and having "fun," who will finish your sweet couch-pillow-cover fort? Who will pet your cat?


Fine, you stubborn fool, you still want to go out? Below are some great events. If you must leave your home, go to those. You might even have "fun" -- DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU.

Bob Seger 2011 Tour Opener
(Credit: Scott Legato/Getty Images)

Bob Seger & Joe Walsh

United Center
1901 West Madison Street
Chicago, IL 60612
K-Hits Event Page

April 6th

Bob Seger? Aw crap, when I agreed to write about this event, I mis-read it as the name of everyone's favorite father from San Francisco: Bob Saget.

This is a niiiggghhhhtmare!

Anyway, if you grew up in the Midwest and you're near the age of 50, you'll probably be excited that Bob Seger's here. His gut's bigger, his glasses are thicker, but he's still the guttural God of the Midwest, encouraging everyone to be like rocks, go to Katmandu, and move nights or something.

So go to this?

(I really like the live versions of Travelin' Man / Beautiful Loser...)

Headquarters Beercade

80th Anniversary of the Legalization of Beer

Headquarters Beercade
950 W. Wolfram
Chicago, IL 60657

April 7th

Nearly 80 years ago, Franklin Roosevelt legalized beer, marking the beginning of the end of prohibition. American's have been showing their gratitude (by the pint) ever since.

If only there was a Chicago establishment celebrating this momentous day...

There is! Headquarters Beercade, which is exactly what it sounds like (a bar and an arcade combined into an amazing beast more impressive than Voltron), will be celebrating National Beer Day in style. So if you have a hankering for some of your favorite arcade games (I could totally beat you in NBA Jam, fyi), or some great drinks (their numerous craft beers are only 3 bucks on National Beer Day), check out Headquarters Beercade. I'd suggest pouring a little liquor for your homies Frankie Roosevelt and Tupac, but I don't think the bar would appreciate that...

Also! Word on the street is that Headquarters is expanding to include a pinball arcade, which is supposed to open sometime in May.

Bad Grammar Theater

Bad Grammar Theater

1747 S. Halsted St.
Chicago, IL 60608
Bad Grammar Theater

April 12th

I've never actually checked out Bad Grammar Theater, but I'm really interested in it. Part of Pilsen's monthly "2nd FRIDAYS Gallery Night," which is hosted by the Chicago Arts District, Bad Grammar is just one great attraction mixed in with some of the city's best art.

Bad Grammar Theater doesn't sound like your average reading, which is to say, it doesn't subject you to an hour and a half of stories that may or may not be interesting. Instead, they have a writer read a story on every hour and half hour. The event is free and people are encouraged to come and go as they please. This event sounds like a nice place to go if you both want to talk to your friends and hear some good stories. Sometimes it's nice to go to events where you don't feel like a hostage.



UIC Forum
725 W Roosevelt Road
Chicago, IL 60608

April 20th

Nowadays, people are putting bacon in EVERYTHING. Chocolate? Yes. Ice cream? Yep? Your grandmother's ashes? We'll just have to wait and see!

(How is she, by the way? Doing well? In good health? Happy to hear that...)

Anyway, Baconfest is finally upon us. An entire day of Chicago's best chefs coming together to shove our gullets full of wonderful bacon. What else do you need to know? For those of you with a conscious, it's important to note that Baconfest is also down with charity. Yes, that's right, a portion of their proceeds goes to the Greater Chicago Food Depository. So that's cool, I guess.

Mason Johnson is a vile human being. He has a twitter account that is both unintelligent and inappropriate.


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