This story originally appeared on CBS New York.
(CBSNewYork) NEW YORK - On the same day the suspect in the Colorado movie massacre appeared in court, the grandmother of the tragedy's youngest victim spoke with CBS 2's Chris Wragge about her loss.
Veronica Moser-Sullivan, 6, was the youngest victim of the movie theater massacre. Her grandmother Anna Moser is racked with grief and also with guilt.
"If I had been there, I would have suggested for her to stay with me," Moser said.
Moser came to New York City on a family trip that was supposed to help her deal with the loss of her husband, who died just eight weeks ago after a battle with leukemia.
"This was supposed to be healing vacation for me, to help me adjust," Moser said.
In her worst nightmare, she never imagined she would also have to adjust to the loss of her little "pumpkin" Veronica.
"She was a very special girl. She was intelligent. She was a sweetheart," Moser said through tears.
Veronica and her mother, Ashley, lived with Moser, who is actually Veronica's step-grandmother. Ashley remains in critical condition with bullets lodged in her throat and abdomen.
Moser said had she been home, she would have likely babysat Veronica like she had happily done on so many other occasions.
"Especially the Batman movie, Veronica's a Disney child. She was into her princesses and other sweet little girl things," Moser said.
As for the man accused of killing her step-granddaughter and 11 others the night Moser made her way to New York, she said she wants justice.
"I just can't fathom what got into him, to do this I don't understand that type of criminal mind, I don't understand it," she said.
Moser had been with Veronica since the day she was born. She only has six short years of memories, but she said those will last a lifetime. She said she just hopes the pain will subside.
"It's like I don't have enough tears for what's going on," Moser said.
While a nation and a Colorado community are still in shock, the Mosers and Veronica's father, Ian Sullivan, are experiencing a pain and sorrow shared by the families of the other victims.
"I love her, I miss her. I know she is with her grandfather and I know she's safe now," Moser said.
Funeral arrangements have not been finalized for Veronica. Her mom is paralyzed from her waist down. She was also pregnant, but, miraculously, the baby is fine, Moser said.