Quiznos Airs Gay "Torpedo" Ad -- Not That There's Anything Wrong With That

What are we to make of the porny new Quiznos commercial, which features a sexy, male-voiced oven persuading a male Quiznos worker holding a torpedo sandwich to "put it in me"? (Video below.)

It's either a tastless exercize in homophobic humor or it's camp genius. Or both. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

The ad begins with the oven, using a bedroom voice, persuading sandwich-worker Scott to introduce Quiznos' new "Toasty Torpedo." But Scott hints that their relationship is in some way troubled. "I'm not doing that again," he says. The oven contradicts him, "We both enjoyed that."

The spot devolves from there as the oven eventually persuades Scott to announce the price, $4, in a sexy voice. I'll leave it to you to draw your own conclusions as to what the long, thin sandwich with its paper sheath resembles. Here's the full script:

Oven: Scott, I want you to do something.

Scott: I'm not doing that again. Got burned.

Oven: We both enjoyed that. Now I want you to introduce my greatest creation. The new toasty torpedo.

Scott: The new toasty torpedo?

Oven: Yes Scott. You make one.

Scott: Me?

Oven: Put it in me Scott. It's over a foot of Quizno's flavor on slim, sleek ciabatta for only $4. Say it Scott.

Scott: Only $4?

Oven: Say it sexy.

Scott: Only $4.

Oven: Sexier ...

Scott: Only $4 ...