Junk Or Treasure?

Andy Rooney Can't Part With These Office Treasures

No one is making me be on television, so I know it's my own fault, but I'm uneasy about being watched so closely. Makes me nervous. You know, do I have my tie on straight? Is my hair combed? And, boy, do people watch closely.

I did something about all the cables and wires I've collected. This was a picture of one of my closets. The next day, I heard from Maggie Wittenburg in Lonesome Pine, Calif.

Maggie said, "Why was there a bottle of red nail polish on the shelf?" This is what Maggie saw.

Well, I don't suppose she'll believe me but I mark the keys I carry with red nail polish so I know which key opens which door.

"H" here is for Home. That's why I have red nail polish.

But, I have a thousand things in this office that viewers ask about. "What is the wine doing up there?"

Well, this is from the 1984 Democratic Convention in San Francisco. It was a better year for wine than it was for Democrats. Because Ronald Reagan won that one.

This is a bottle I got on the 50th anniversary of D-Day in France.

There's never going to be a good day to open either one of those bottles of wine.

This is Thomas Paine looking down at me from up there. I hope he approves.

Over there, a picture I treasure, which Harry Reasoner gave me, is of John F. Kennedy.

I have a lot of stuff you never see here in my desk drawers. Half of a perfectly good wristwatch strap. A tool that does everything - but not very well. Elastic bands. Two gold watches that CBS gave me... instead of a raise.

I don't wear this one because it doesn't have numbers. I know where noon is but I want a 12 on my watch.

I don't wear this one either because it has numbers but no sweep hand. So I wear this $17 Timex with numbers and a sweep hand.

This is a War Department ID I got when I was in Nuremburg in 1946. I look like one of the people on trial.

This is my Army dog tag. A pair of broken glasses I don't want to throw out. Toothbrush.

Over on the table across from my desk, there's lots of good stuff. Here's a blood-pressure gadget on top of this old Bible here. Taking someone's blood pressure is not an exact science.

On top of the bookcase, that's an Emmy I won in 1981. I haven't done anything good since then. And a Giants football helmet, I did that in a piece.

There are two kinds of people in the world: the people who get rid of what they think is junk and the people who save their junk because they think it's treasure.

I treasure all my junk you see every week.



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  • David Kohn

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