[Warning: This post contains spoilers for Sunday's episode of "Game of Thrones," so don't read if you haven't watched.]
Call it "CSI: Westeros" -- last week, "Game of Thrones" revealed the culprits behind Joffrey's murder. During this week's episode, "First of His Name," another murder mystery was solved. (More on that in a bit.)
No weddings or funerals happened this week, but we did begin with a coronation ceremony for Tommen, where he is crowned king and everyone proclaims "Long may he reign!" Everyone's watching him, but he's only got eyes for Margaery Tyrell, who for all we know has kept up her late-night chats with the young boy. After the ceremony, Margaery and Cersei have a chat of their own, which could have been Cersei warning Margaery to stay away from her remaining son but, surprisingly, was actually the opposite -- Cersei, calm and candid, acknowledges what a monster Joffrey was ("He would have been your nightmare") and broaches the idea of Margaery marrying Tommen. Margaery says she hasn't even given it a thought. Lies!
"We may be faced with an alarming number of weddings soon," Margaery adds. You'd think by this point people would be RSVP-ing "no" to these things.
Meanwhile, Sansa is being taken by Littlefinger to The Eeyrie to visit her Aunt Lysa and cousin Robin, who are both just as strange as when we last saw them a few seasons ago. (At least he wasn't breastfeeding this time?)
Lysa welcomes Sansa and then tells Littlefinger -- through really gross, sloppy kisses -- she wants to marry him ASAP. During this conversation, she drops a bombshell: She's the one who poisoned her husband, John Aaryn, the Hand of the King, and sent a note to her sister, Catelyn Stark, blaming his murder on the Lannisters -- all at Littlefinger's behest. This, of course, was the event that set the entire series in motion. His death is what brought Robert Baratheon to Winterfell to ask Ned Stark to become the new Hand of the King, which Ned accepted so he could go to King's Landing and get to the bottom of said murder. And we all know what happened to Ned in King's Landing.
They do marry, and we see poor Sansa lying in bed listening as the newlyweds consummate their union very, very loudly. Later, Lysa pays Sansa a visit and reminds us just how bonkers she is, accusing her niece of sleeping with Littlefinger and demanding to know if she's pregnant. Sansa swears she's a virgin as her aunt interrogates her until she's in tears, and that's when the woman finally stops and comforts her, casually adding that soon Sansa will marry Robin. Wait, what?!
One final note on the Eyrie: As Littlefinger and Sansa approached, he made a particular point of noting how he admired how the mountaintop domain and its surrounding narrow roads made it nearly impossible for enemy forces to invade. Perhaps it will play part in a battle scene to come?
Across the Narrow Sea, Daenerys runs into a problem -- while she's been running around conquering cities and freeing their slaves, some of those cities have descended into chaos since she departed. Turns out you can't just invade a place and then just take off. She tells Ser Jorah she can't become ruler of Westeros if she can't control Slaver's Bay first. "I will not let those I freed slide back into chains," she adds. "I will do what queens do. I will rule."
Arya is still traveling with the Hound, reading off her Death List before she goes to bed. The Hound isn't a fan of the list -- and looks a bit surprised to hear his name on it. Brienne and Podrick are also out on the road together, but he doesn't seem to have the skills typically associated with a squire, like cooking and horse-riding.
And in Craster's Keep, a Stark reunion looks like it just, just might happen, since that's where Bran is being held captive and where Jon Snow is headed on a mutineer-killing mission. First, though, we have to watch as Meera Reed is almost assaulted by Karl Tanner. Thankfully, she's not raped, because the Night's Watchmen come in just in time. As Jon leads the attack, Locke sneaks away to kidnap Bran -- but he escapes by taking psychic control of Hodor and using him to snap Locke's neck.
Bran sees Jon and tries to crawl to him, but before he can get his half-brother's attention Jojen Reed convinces him that if he reunites with his brother, he'll stop him from searching for the three-eyed raven. So he keeps quiet, and Jon never knows he's there.
After Karl's killed and the battle's over, Jon offers Craster's daughters the opportunity to come back to Castle Black but they politely refuse. They'll make their own way, the say, but first they'll see their onetime captor's homestead burnt to the ground.
Tell us: What did you think of this week's episode?