By

CBS News Staff /

CBS News/ August 7, 2012, 12:33 PM

Common myths about having a child later in life

Myth: Older moms don't enjoy parenthood as much as younger moms

istockphoto
Many mothers experience a spike in happiness around the birth of a child, but a recent study by the Max Planck Institute for Demographic Research finds that this spike is particularly strong and long-lasting for moms who start families after 35. For those new moms, the spike is not followed by the steep and sustained decline in happiness and satisfaction that occurs among younger mothers, Gregory notes.

6 Comments Add a Comment
linkicon reporticon emailicon
birdie87 says:
This article is pure BS - every single one of the so-called "myths" is actually true. You are meant to start having children when you are younger. It is pure folly to wait. Everyone I know who has, including myself, regrets it.
reply
linkicon reporticon emailicon
1730dtla says:
"Common myths about having a child later in life" is the title of this article, yet every point of reference is feminine.

Also, this article makes way too many general assumptions.

People I know who're waiting to have children have already made clear that they're in "neither the time nor the place" to do it, indicating the condition of the American educational system as well as the cost of living are the two biggest factors (for them).

For me? I wouldn't have a child in America at this moment, period. Canada, maybe. Europe, more likely. But this is not the world I'd leave to my children or, more importantly, leave my children to.
reply
linkicon reporticon emailicon
byrdh5n1 says:
Not WHEN, please, but IF. IF!!! IF!!! Having a child should be an intelligent (?) choice and not just a fulfillment of the expectations of others or the mindless obedience of an inflamed biologic clock. If hormones demand spawn, then hit the snooze button until you figure out what is best for you and those for whom you care..... Selfish? Hell yes! But then... so are the "reasons" so many offer for having a child.......
reply
linkicon reporticon emailicon
binr says:
I was the youngest of 8 children. My mom was 42 and my dad was 50.

My father died before I was two, and we were very poor. My mom was so worn out from working and taking care of young kids in her fifties that I never really had a hands-on mom. And she never got a chance to enjoy her golden years.

In school, everyone thought my mom was my grandmother. She was by far the oldest mother of all my peers.

Having older parents sucks. It's not fair to the parents or to the child.
reply
linkicon reporticon emailicon
Ulgnud says:
Seems there are pros and cons both ways. Davisrad got lucky and found someone who was of the same mind to wait. If there is a disagreement on the "When" of having kids it may not work. Starting at 40 means you will be nearly 60 years old when the first one leaves home, assuming 9 months plus 18 years. Definitely a lot of thinking to be done between both when making this decision.
reply
linkicon reporticon emailicon
Davisrad says:
I think the decision on when to have kids is a critical one that too many people these days don't even think about (witness all the unmarried teen moms on welfare). I'm one of those moms who chose to delay having kids & it was the BEST decision for me. I'm the oldest of 6 kids - my parents had me when they were 20 and they had 6 kids by the time they were 30. My dad worked 12-hour shifts in a factory while my mom stayed home with the kids. My folks never really had time together to have fun as a couple before having a pile of kids - they also didn't have much money so we lived a frugal lifestyle in a small fixer-upper house with 1 bathroom (tub only, no shower). My dad could repair anything, so we had ancient second-hand appliances, including an old-fashioned hand-cranked wash machine and NO dryer (clothes had to be hung on clotheslines to dry - this took days if they had to hang in the basement in front of the furnace!), along with the really old refrigerator that needed weekly defrosting, the 15-year old black & white TV (while all our friends had color TVs), and the threadbare furniture with sagging cushions. We couldn't afford disposable diapers so every other day there were mounds of diapers to wash, hang, take down & fold. My mom often lamented not being able to afford things like family vacations, sports & dance lessons, school hot lunches, airconditioning (we had one window fan for the entire house), etc. As the oldest kid, it was very tough on me since I had to become mom's right hand with cleaning, dishes, laundry (everything had to be ironed - even dad's boxer shorts and undershirts), taking care of siblings, etc. etc.

So...by the time I turned 21 & got married I said "been there, done that" as far as having babies right away goes. I waited 14 years before having my first child at age 36 and my second at age 39. Before I had kids I finished college and got a good-paying job that I knew I could take maternity leave from & still have it when I got back. My husband & I saved up & bought a new home, traveled to Europe and did the things my parents couldn't because they were saddled with 6 kids. When I had my kids, I was ready and we both wanted them. I was lucky enough to get pregnant within 3 months of trying for both kids. We've enjoyed being parents and having the means to provide things my husband & I never had as kids - our kids did dance, hockey, music, etc. We've had wonderful family vacations. We can afford steak once or twice a week. Our kids were able to BE kids, without the difficult responsibilities I had. I truly think I've had more fun being a mom than my poor mother did.

The only regret is that I am older & if my kids wait as long as I did, then yes, I'll be a really old grandma. My husband's mom had him (the youngest of 7 kids) when she was 42. She lived long enough for my kids to know & love her, but when she came to "help me" after the birth of my daughter, it was more work for me having her around since she was 82 (of course I never let her know that).

All in all, I wish more people would take the time to be prepared to be parents - get schooling done, get decent jobs, save up some money, do stuff together as a couple first, THEN have kids. By then you'll be ready to be the parents all kids need (and so many lower-income kids don't have).
reply