"Yes, yes, it will help..."
Last night's report on using CT scans to detect lung cancer prompted a lot of e-mails – none more powerful or poignant than this, from a viewer in Rochester, New York. At her request, we've dropped her last name. – Ed.
As I watched your information regarding Lung Cancer, I found myself yelling "Yes, yes it will help" at the television screen as your doctor debated if CT scans would help detect lung cancer earlier. I am mourning the loss of my husband of 42 years, Conrad. He was the "Love of my Life" and a wonderful, dignified man who wanted to live to see his 4 beautiful grandchildren grow up. Conrad was diagnosed with lung cancer on August 11, 2005... he collapsed at our home on July 28, 2006 with my two daughters and myself holding him, calling 911, and trying to help him until the ambulance arrived.
Why did he die that night? I do not know the exact cause, but it certainly was from the cancer. I do know that on Conrad's insistence he had a chest x-ray taken on March, 2004 and nothing showed up. Conrad was concerned because he had been a life long smoker, having quit 7 years before. Our doctor did NOT have a follow-up x-ray a year later in March 2005... and in May, 2005 Conrad began having headaches... the doctor tried many different things, including a head MRI. Nothing showed up. By the beginning of August a pain began in my husband's back and they FINALLY did an x-ray of his lung and found "something". A CAT scan a few days later revealed a tumor in his lung/bronchial tube. They said they could not operate because it was too close to the heart and too tangled up with veins, etc. It took weeks to find out it was stage 3 cancer. No one seems to move quickly in the beginning and it is all so scary.
Conrad immediately began chemo and radiation. He was a trouper and did everything they asked him to do to fight this awful cancer. He was holding his own for awhile and then on June 4th we went to Long Island to be at the birth of our 4th grandchild. Nate Conrad was born on June 4th and Conrad was so very proud to hold him. What a blessing to be there. When we came home, Conrad began to have trouble with his vision. A head CAT scan revealed tumors and swelling in his brain. He began brain radiation within days.
Again things seemed to be getting better... but he began to lose strength in his legs. He couldn't walk without a cane. I hoped it was only the steroids he was on for the swelling of the brain and it would pass. The end of June I threw him a 63rd birthday party. I toasted him and told our friends that we would all help him celebrate his 64th birthday next year.
The beginning of July we flew out to Chicago to visit our son and his family (2 of our other beautiful grandchildren). He continued to get weaker. We were using a wheelchair at the airport. Again I just thought it was the steroids because the doctors warmed me that they do cause weakness in the legs... Conrad had a CAT scan of his brain on July 24th...on July 26th the doctor called with great news. The tumors in the head had all shrunk and there was no swelling in his brain and the chemo was containing the cancer in the lung. When I told him the good news, we cried and hugged each other with such hope for more time together. Then on Friday, July 28th he was gone.
I will never forget the doctor walking into the waiting room and telling me that my husband had died. The hospital said we could be alone with him as long as we wanted. The girls and I stayed with him for hours hugging him, kissing him and telling him how much we loved him. Part of me died also that night. I will never be the same. But you try to be strong and go on for the children and the grandchildren.
I chose not to have an autopsy because whatever happened on July 28th was certainly a by product of the year of lung cancer and the treatments. I did not want my husband to be poked, cut, or bothered anymore. Enough was enough... I did donate his corneas to the eye bank. I think he would have liked that. He had such beautiful brown eyes.
So yes,... do I believe that my sweetheart would still be alive today if someone had given him a CAT scan earlier, before the pain started in his back... you bet I do... I hope that it will become common practice as people get up in age. The insurance company spent thousands of dollars on a year of treatments for my husband. The cost of a CAT scan would have been a bargain for them...
Thank you for your time.
Paula
Rochester, New York