George Sodini, the man police say walked into a Pennsylvania health club Tuesday night, calmly turned off the lights and fired 30 bullets into a room full of women before killing himself, has left one more disturbing legacy, a Youtube video in which he calmly stares at the camera and says "It is easy for me to hide from my emotions for one more day."
Among the dead from Sodini's health club massacre: 46 year-old Heidi Overmier, a single mom active in her Methodist church; 37-year-old Jody Billingsley and 49-year-old Betsy Gannon - a lifelong resident of the area, reports CBS News correspondent Susan Koeppen. Sodini's gunfire also left nine people injured.
In the online video, which, according to Youtube, was posted more than a year ago, Sodini seems to be running through a self help checklist, talking about driving in his car, listening to music and day dreaming.
Later he says "my objective is to be real and learn to be emotional and to, you know, to be able to emotionally connect with people because when I am 10 to 20 years older than she is, you know, she has to feel good about this thing."
In a seperate online diary, Sodini raged against women and expressed his own frustrations and deep seated anger at not being able to connect with them.
"Women just don't like me. There are 30 million desirable women in the US (my estimate) and I cannot find one. Not one of them finds me attractive," the 48-year-old computer programmer lamented.
In the diary, Sodini also expressed anger against his brother, who he said was a bully.
The full transcript of Sodini's Youtube video is below
It is easy for me to hide from my emotions for one more day.
Take a long drive in the car, listen to some music, day dream or just do some mundane task around the house that really doesn't need to be done that's not too important.
And there you go; one more day and one more day turns into one more year.
Now RDS says that I have approximately maybe 15 more years to be successful at this. And when I heard that, I wanted to continue immediately to start moving on this. I didn't realize I had that much time.
So my objective is to be real and learn to be emotional and to, you know, to be able to emotionally connect with people because when I am 10 to 20 years older than she is, you know, she has to feel good about this thing. And the only way around that is to work on this, and perhaps stem exercises, or forgiveness exercises as per hey, or whatever else.
I'm gonna post this and see what comes back.