That's the way Alabama coach Mike DuBose described his feelings Thursday, the day after the university said he'd be gone after this season.
"I understand the bottom line is results," he said. "It's not what you intended to do, it's what you do. The results are not what they should have been. I understand that. I have no problem with that."
The results were mixed - 24-20 over four years.
Last season, he was Southeastern Conference coach of the year, leading the Tide to the SEC title. This season, Alabama is 3-5 and in danger of its second losing season under DuBose, a first-time coach who was a Tide assistant and player.
There's still some hope, though. Alabama can make it to the SEC title game again, but only if it wins its final three games.
DuBose wasn't at Wednesday's news conference when the school announced he would retire at the end of the season.
On Thursday, when he faced a throng of waiting reporters after practice, he said: "I feel like a lamb being led to the slaughter."
"There's a lot of hurt," he said, "there's a lot of disappointment there, but then again I do love this university."
He greeted reporters with his standard, "How's everybody?"
Asked how he was doing, DuBose responded, "I'm great. I'm blessed."
"I'm grateful for this opportunity," he said. "We didn't get the job done. For that, I apologize to an awful lot of people. Most of all, I thank the Good Lord. I think he's got a special plan in store."
Asked about his future plans, DuBose said he and his wife, Polly, would "pray about it."
He said the high-point of his tenure was not winning the SEC title, but rediscovering his faith. That happened after an embarrassing sexual harassment settlement with a former university employee before last season.
"It's been a very difficult year," DuBose said. "I don't know how anyone could make it through what we made it through this year, and the last four years, without turning to Jesus. I'd already have jumped off the bridge downtown."
"When I took this job, this job was my god," said DuBose, whose two children attend Alabama. "Football was my god. It had been for a long time. That's no longer true.
"Football is extremely important to me, this university is extremely important to me, but my family is more important and God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit is much more important. That is first in my life."
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