Conspiracy Theories Behind BP Oil Spill in Gulf -- From Dick Cheney To UFOs

Last Updated Jul 1, 2010 11:53 AM EDT

Far from the media spotlight, pulled from the "X-Files" of the Internet, are some of the more interesting and conspiratorial narratives on what -- or who -- triggered BP's oil-spill disaster, now unfolding more than 18,000 feet below sea level in the Gulf of Mexico.

What did he know, and when did he know it? Representing the reactionary right, blogger Jerseynut alleges a conspiracy and subsequent coverup direct from the White House: chief of staff Rahm Emanuel, likely acting on orders from President Obama, had operatives blow up the Transocean (RIG) -- leased rig and attached wellbore. Implausible?
You never let a serious crisis go to waste. And what I mean by that it's an opportunity to do things you think you could not do before, Emanuel infamously said in November 2008.
With a runaway spill in the Gulf waters, the Obama administration can now direct effort to the wish list of its partisan base:
  1. A moratorium on deepwater drilling in U.S. waters -- right wing radio host Rush Limbaugh opined on the airwaves last month that "environmental whackos" blew up the rig to "head off more drilling"
  2. A renewed legislative push for the previously moribund Kerry-Lieberman cap-and-trade bill, which seeks to address climate warming in the U.S. by regulating industrial carbon dioxide emissions.
With respect toward "fair balance" in the media, those on the opposite end of the political spectrum -- the liberal left -- see former Vice President Dick Cheney's fingerprints all over this environmental catastrophe. Alex Pareene blames the former vice-president in an insipid Salon.com post alleging industry pandering during the reign of George Bush II. In particular, the blogger points out that lax oversight permitted BP to avoid the $500,000 cost of installing a "dead-man switch" on the blow-out preventer, called an acoustic shut-off switch, that could've been triggered from the surface (onboard the Deepwater rig) to plug the leak.

In a related story, investigators are examining the role of Cheney's former employer Halliburton (HAL) in the undersea spill, as the oil-service company was responsible for cementing the drill hole, as reported by the LA Times on May 1. The Internet's suspicious minds believe Halliburton intentionally triggered the catastrophic blowout (using substandard concrete slurry when cementing the spaces around the piping in the wellbore casing) to adversely affect U.S. oil production -- looking to boost oil prices (and profits). The inquisitors reference the current investigation underway by Australian officials on Halliburton's role in a Timor Sea well blowout in 2005 as proof positive.

Filed away in the "International Intrigue" folder is the report a North Korean submarine fired two torpedoes against the rig, as reported by WRAL.com:
On the night of April 20th the North Korean Mini Submarine manned by these "suicidal" 17th Sniper Corps soldiers attacked the Deepwater Horizon with what are believed to be 2 incendiary torpedoes causing a massive explosion and resulting in 11 workers on this giant oil rig being killed outright. Barely 48 hours later, on April 22nd , this North Korean Mini Submarine committed its final atrocity by exploding itself directly beneath the Deepwater Horizon causing this $1 Billion oil rig to sink beneath the seas and marking 2010's celebration of Earth Day with one of the largest environmental catastrophes our World has ever seen.
As if President Obama didn't already have enough on his plate to worry about, now comes word from the socially conservative WorldNetDaily promulgating a spiritual connection. According to this theory, Obama's poor treatment toward Israel led to the catastrophe in the Gulf. In a video narrative, Florida-based Baptist preacher Carl Gallups warned the wrath of God befell upon Obama. Pastor Carl recounted from the Book of Genesis an ancient promise God made to Abraham, the patriarch of the 12 tribes of Israel:
I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse....
Conspiracy theories making the rounds on the world wide web are not limited to causes of the Gulf spill too. Blogger discussion boards are filled with non-stop, fearful chatter, including talk of an impending explosion of methane gas bubbles in Gulf waters, wiping out the entire sea coastal seaboard; worries the Obama administration is readying FEMA-run internment camps in the South and will soon declare martial law; and, lest we forget, BP's drilling activity awoke a UFO, long-buried under more than three miles of sea water, sandstone and hard rock formations.

Could the fait accompli -- a sequel to Roger Corman's classic 1956 sci-fi flick "It Conquered the World" (hopefully in 3-D viewing) -- be too far behind?

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  • David Phillips

    David Phillips has more than 25 years' experience on Wall Street, first as a financial consultant and then as an equity analyst for several investment banking firms. He sifts through SEC filings for his blog The 10Q Detective, looking for financial statement soft spots, such as depreciation policies, warranty reserves and restructuring charges. He has been widely quoted in outlets such as BusinessWeek, The International Herald Tribune, Investor's Business Daily, Kiplinger's Personal Finance, and The Wall Street Journal.

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