Connecting Via Online Dating

In our super-connected world, even finding love has gone high-tech.

As consumer correspondent Susan Koeppen pointed out Tuesday in The Early Show's weeklong series, "How To Date In 2008," millions of people are seeking love with the help of Web sites devoted to helping singles meet.

There are more than 1,000 such sites, helping singles match up by age, religion, activity -- you name it -- it's out there.

Experts offered advice on the show about online dating techniques, and making your online photos and profiles the best they can be. We also heard how a recent makeover of one attorney's online presentation is already helping her in the online dating arena.

Marybeth Rogers, 56, has been single for nearly 15 years, and says she's "very attracted to younger guys with lots of energy. ... I don't go out to bars and ... hang around and wait around for someone who's had enough to drink to say, 'I think I might like to talk to her.' "

Marybeth has tried online dating with what she describes as "disastrous" results. Over the years, she says, she's never gotten many dates using Web sites.

Enter Erika Moore, who runs a company that provides makeovers for online daters. It's called Romance Language.

Moore says, "There are lots and lots of good people online," but most people do a bad job of marketing themselves.

Case in point -- Marybeth.

So, we asked Moore to help Marybeth pump it up a bit and re-do her online profile.

What was Marybeth doing wrong?

"Pretty much everything, honestly," Moore told Koeppen.

To start with, Marybeth didn't have a good picture.

"The picture," Moore says, "is absolutely critical, because, without a good picture, people don't even look."

A bad picture or no picture is a big problem, Moore says.

And that's Roger Kriegel's area of expertise. He's a headshot photographer for Engage Design Studio.

We got Marybeth a new headshot.

Asked what some of the biggest mistakes are that people make with their pictures, Moore responded, "They use old ones. I've literally seen people use their high school graduation picture from you know, the '70s. I mean, it's crazy!"

Next, Moore worked with Marybeth on her screen name, which was mbru4me.

"The way this reads is a list of kind of random letters," Moore pointed out, "so, if a guy is seeing this along with a lot of other people, is he going to remember this? No."

Moore changed Marybeth's screen name to Dancing Defender "because she loves ballet, and she is a defense attorney. ... (Do) anything you can do to stand out."

And finally, putting the right words in your profile to attract the right kind of person is key.

"A guy who can just make me laugh is just heaven," Marybeth says.

Replied Moore: "Great, which reminds me -- you say you know how to make people laugh. OK. How do you make them laugh? Let's be specific."

The biggest miscue people make when writing about themselves online, Moore says, is negativity -- giving a list of what they don't want.

Marybeth's profile needed help in that department, so Moore "injected some humor in it. I put some stories in. I made it very positive, very much. I just wanted to sell her personality."

And boy, how things have changed for Marybeth!

After her online makeover, her profile got more than 100 hits in 48 hours, and probably more than 500 in two-and-a-half weeks. Of those, about 100 have asked to meet her, and she's corresponding with several.

Marybeth says she's not only impressed that so many men are looking, but by "the kind of guys who are responding. They are, I think, quality, quality guys."

So, is Marybeth optimistic she'll meet somebody?

"I think so," she says. "Yeah, I do. I really do."

She's already been on one date and is setting up more.

People get help with resumes, she remarked to CBS News, so why not with love?

The photos run about $200 dollars and up. And to revamp your online profile costs $750.

FOR SPECIFIC TIPS FROM THE EXPERTS, GO TO PAGE 2.

On The Early Show plaza Tuesday, singles got signed up for free at Match.com, and got free headshots taken.

Moore and Kriegel were joined by Janet Siroto, editorial director of Match.com, and by three online daters.

Siroto says looking for dates online doesn't make someone a nerd, signifying he or she can't get a date any other way.

"Not at all!" Siroto told co-anchor Maggie Rodriguez. " ... With everyone's lives being so busy, it's a terrific way to connect with people you wouldn't otherwise bump into."

Want to enhance your online dating experience? Try these success strategies from the experts at Match.com:

Use common sense, online and offline. If you met someone great at a party, set up a dinner date, and the other person said they'd need cab fare to meet you there, you'd think something was fishy, right? The same holds true online: If someone asks you questions that are too personal, requests money so they can come meet you, or anything else that makes you go, "Hmmm," trust your gut and say "No."

Have a friend help you date online. They'll see you in a different light. They can help identify your best traits as you write your profile, be a sounding board for the kind of people you really click with on dates, and help you search -- they may find great matches you never would have found yourself!

Be smart about the first date. Even though you may have developed a rapport with someone online and feel as if you really know them, follow the usual guidelines about your first meeting. Don't invite the other person to your home, provide your own transportation, and meet in a well-trafficked public place in a neighborhood that you know your way around.

Pay attention to profiles. So you're looking for a long-term relationship, but your eye is caught by a cutie whose profile says "looking for casual fun"? Take that person at his or her word. Know what your dating goals and deal-breakers are, and stick to them. Don't set yourself up for disappointment by contacting people who clearly aren't a good fit.

Erika Moore's Tips for Writing a Great Online Profile

Use humor whenever possible, or at least keep it light-hearted.

Tell stories (or give examples) instead of making lists. Instead of "I'm funny," say, "I'm told my Chris Rock imitation is flawless."

Spend some space talking about the kind of person you'd like to meet. People love to read, hear, and talk about themselves, even in theory. Help a potential match see that he or she might be the one for you.

Leave out the stuff about your jerk of an ex, or any other negativity. Nix the list of what you don't want ("Users and cheapskates need not apply") -- It's fine to indicate you'd like to meet someone who's generous and solvent.

Leave out the list of physical attributes you require in a partner (it's fine to talk about good chemistry). Basically, the less rigid your agenda, on any front, the more appealing and approachable you'll seem.

Spell check!

Kriegel's pointers about your photos

DON'T:

Party the night before. Get plenty of sleep and stay hydrated.

Wear clothes that will take the focus from your face (no wild patterns, huge jewlery/earings).

Use props in the pictures (glass of wine, your pet).

Arrive late to your photo shoot.

DO:

Dress and look as if you're going on a first date. Dress up, but not too much.

Bring at least three outfits, and more in case what you bring doesn't work. You want a total of three looks.

Use a makeup artist if one is within your budget

Wear long-sleeve shirts if you don't like how your arms look.

Wear solid-color tops that are darker then your skin tone.

Wear something you'll be comfortable in.

Bring a variety of necklines; narrow V-necks work for most people

Bring your own gel, hair dryer, curling iron, or hair brush, in case you need to make hair adjustments.

Relax and smile!

MEN:

A dark blue or black dress shirt will usually work great. Wearing a suit and tie is a bit much. Keep it dressy, but casual.

No Hawaiian shirts! (also applies for first dates!)

No t-shirts

No tight shirts

No busy, crazy patterns

WOMEN:

Dress sexy, but not skanky (unless that's part of your "look").

Don't show too much skin.

Wear something comfortable.

Avoid dress shirts; they'll make you look too "professional" and not "fun."

No big or busy patterns.

No t-shirts

Soft, dark V-necks look great

Black always works, and white hardly ever.

POSES

Your photographer is an expert in posing you in a way that looks natural. But here are some tips that will help you:

Relax. A photography session is a lot of fun, enjoy the experience!

Smile!

Make sure you look directly at the camera in most of the photos.

Men: Keep your shirt on, Even if you have a great body. Posing half-naked will not get you the quality date you're looking for (trust us on this one!).

Avoid playful or "funny bunny" poses; they're not appropriate for online dating photos. Keep it simple.

PROPS

Avoid them. Props tend to make you look cheesy and desperate. You may think holding a glass of wine in a suggestive pose is a great idea, but trust us, it's not. Holding a baseball bat doesn't work, either. Volley balls, mitts, tennis rackets, skates -- none of them works. So don't.

HAIR AND MAKEUP

Womem: We strongly recommend that you let a professional do your hair and makeup. Most of our photographers work with a make-up artist. Ask them to set up an appointment for you at the time of the shoot.

Men: We don't think most men need hair and makeup services. If you have any skin imperfections, we'd suggest you order a photo retouching service; our expert retouchers will digitally enhance your photo while keeping it totally natural-looking.