Communication Overload: What Would Emily Post Do?
But it also means that there is a lot of after-hours communication going on. So, I'm checking email on my handheld or tablet all the time — from 6:15 a.m. to 11 p.m. — and on my weekends, too.
I don't think my situation is unusual for an entrepreneur, but I do often wonder what exactly the communication etiquette should be for a CEO in this 24/7 connected world. I'm always thinking, 'maybe this is the big job' and, of course, there's always the urgency to respond in case something has gone wrong with an order.
How should I respond to the calls and the emails if, say, they come at 7:30 a.m. when I'm trying to get my 7-year-old ready for school? Do I email quickly from my phone and risk being too brief? Or do I wait several hours until I can return the message properly?
A couple of weeks ago, I went to my once-a-week Zumba dance class. It's a high-energy aerobic workout and, more importantly, it's my one hour to myself. Right in the middle of it, my cell phone rang. For a brief moment, I almost had chest pain. What do I do? Do I keep dancing? Do I run to my purse and get my phone? It was killing me.
In the end, I waited but it was not without personal and mental anguish. Of course, when I listened to the message I found out it was nothing urgent.
But there are times when I can't get away with not responding.
During the first week of my son's first grade, my husband and I left work early to attend his school's Friday family picnic. There we were picnicking on the lawn and meeting lots of parents when we had a bit of a drapery fire drill (though, thankfully, there was no literal fire involved.) A very important client wanted to know if an order had shipped and whether or not it was going to the right place.
Emotionally, this was challenge. Something has to take precedence and of course you say 'family first.' Being there for William was really, really important to us, but the client did not see it that way.
It was 4:30 p.m. and Fed Ex was closing in a half hour. It would have been an hour and a half before I could respond appropriately, which obviously wasn't fast enough.
In the end, I couldn't respond. I had to marshal the other resources that were available — in this case, my fantabulous general manager. She took care of it, the shipment went out on time, and at the end of the day everybody was happy.
Don't get me wrong: I'm not complaining about the 24/7 nature of my industry or the fact that I must be available to clients whenever they need me. That's just the speed of doing business these days. But I would like to communicate in the "proper" way in these situations.
It's not just about whether or not I should pick up my phone — there are all sorts of smaller, though no less thorny, etiquette issues, particularly with email. Do grammar and spelling not matter as much anymore? When are cute emoticons not cute? Is it rude not to RSVP to electronic invitations?
When we write a letter on paper with a pen, there is a formality and a finality to what we say. Not so with email. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that we don't sign our names anymore. The danger, however, is that that we might be taking email — a crucial means of business communication — less seriously.
Being the anxious Capricorn that I am, I consulted my 60s-era Emily Post etiquette books and the online version — the Emily Post Etipedia — to find out what my email habits might be communicating to my recipients. As a result, I've resolved to work on two things in particular:
Abbreviations: I have some clients and colleagues who regularly use things like LMK (let me know) and EOD (end of day). In theory, it's not necessarily a bad thing to send out the reader's digest version of your thoughts. My problem is that when I try to abbreviate, I inadvertently leave out the most important details. So I've decided to work on being wordier — without, of course, overdoing it.
Exclamation points: It's so easy to exclamate! exclamate! exclamate! in writing. I used to throw those into emails all of the time thinking that it's like raising my voice to make a point. Then I read that the exclamation point can actually take away the seriousness of what you're saying — even turn it into a bit of foolery. Now I'm trying to use words to make my point, rather than punctuation.
I'm a huge fan of everything technology enables me to do — there's no way I could get through Monday 7 a.m. to Sunday 11 p.m. without these bells and whistles. But I find myself wondering, can we communicate better? What would Ms. Post think?
— as told to Lindsay Blakely
Megan Duckett is President of Sew What? Inc., a premier provider of custom-sewn theatrical drapes and stage backdrops for the entertainment and concert event industries. Originally from Melbourne, Australia, Megan and her husband/business partner Adam live in Southern California with their 7-year-old son William.