--Wall Street Journal, March 7, 2007
To: Members Of Mainstream Media Cabal
From: Brian Montopoli, CBS Public Eye
CC: The Democratic Party, Rosie O'Donnell, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
That was quite a rager last night, huh? I haven't been this hungover since after we doctored up that "macaca" video. As soon as the Libby verdict was announced, CBS News Prez Sean McManus sent a whole bunch of cake, all this top shelf liquor, and a selection of those delicious French pastries down to the newsroom. Five gin fizzes later, George Soros and a whole bunch of gay atheists show up, and Katie's got us cracking up with her "you might be an evangelical" jokes. I heard the parties were killer all over town – over at CNN, Blitzer and Dobbsie threw on Cheney and Nixon masks and totally made out. It was awesome!
Too bad about all those buzzkills, though. Here we are trying to celebrate the conviction and people like Howard Kurtz – who went to the University of Buffalo, by the way – are writing about how the proceedings gave journalism "a black eye." And in San Francisco they're whining about subpoenas. Waaah! Jeez, we don't care, jerks – an aide to Cheney got in trouble or something! At least the good folks at the Wall Street Journal has the good sense to point out that's all we care about. Not like that lame Bob Steele at The Poynter Institute, who said "[t]here is significant concern about what this could mean to journalists." Whatever, dork! Party! Woo-hoo!