Andy's Advice To The Airlines

Andy Rooney Has Some Advice For The Airlines To Make Flying More Pleasurable

I fly maybe 25 or 30 times a year. None of the airlines have asked for my advice but I'm going to give them some anyway.

The good thing the airlines have going for them is we all like to go somewhere - our motto is "Anywhere but here."

I don't complain about airlines. I would, but everyone else does and I hate to be part of the crowd. But getting somewhere ought to be fun and too often it's unpleasant.

A number of years ago, there was a story about someone in an plane trying to light a bomb he was hiding in his shoe and ever since that day, every passenger going on a plane to anywhere has to take off his shoes. I mean one nut, years ago, who may or may not have had anything in mind, has made millions of us take off our shoes every time we get on an airplane.

Do I look like someone who would hide a bomb in his shoe? I say "his" because "her" shoes are too small for a bomb.

Airlines keep adding to the price of a ticket too, and I usually check a bag. The last time I flew, the airline charged me $15.00 for a bag that had about $12.00 worth of stuff in it.

Half the time you have a folksy pilot. One of the best ways to pass the time in flight is by nodding off and I wish pilots wouldn't keep waking us by making sure we see the view.

"There's a great view of the Rockies, ladies and gentlemen over there on the right".

Well, thanks a lot captain, I was sleeping and I happen to be over here on the left. Where were you when we wanted to know why our flight was an hour late leaving?

And by the way, I'd be willing to pay a little extra if you'd stop serving low fat, no salt, formerly fresh turkey breast on a wet roll.

My advice to airlines is this: keep it simple, leave on time and get there when you said you would. We'll get something to eat later.


Written by Andy Rooney
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