The war's over. The threat's gone. Time to think about a vacation.
And where better to come than dear old Britain. Not only will you get a warm welcome, we can also offer some of the quaintest, rudest and silliest places to visit in the whole wide world.
Take Spital-in-the-Street, it's a real place in the county of Lincolnshire famous for……you get the idea ? Or Shitterton, in the county of Dorset, which got its name from the local stream that was once used as an open sewer. Sillier still, and slightly rude, are: Brown Willy – yes people do actually live there; Pratts Bottom ( I know a judge who's very proud to be a resident ) and places with even more suggestive names….. Fartown, Wetwang and Penistone (pronounced Pennystone to save the locals blushing).
If you can't be bothered to come on over, I'd order a copy of this brand new dictionary of British place names if I were you. It's just out, and written by an acknowledged expert in place names all over the globe. Indeed, with his help it's possible to organise a world tour of places named after body parts: You could start with Eye, a town in Suffolk. Then journey to Tongue in Scotland, fly to Japan to visit Nose, jet back to Finger in Tennessee, Chin in Alberta and Elbow in Saskatchewan.
Still not satisfied? Try Harry's Armpit in Newfoundland or Gilbert's Bottom in Montserrat. But that's one heck of a tour.
So stick with Britain. We've got the silliest of silly names. Spend a peaceful night in Little Snoring, there's even a tiny place called Rest and Be Thankful.
And while you're here, spare a thought for the poor ladies of two English rural hideaways. They are respectable members of their local women's clubs. But their villages have unfortunately silly names. Would you want to join the Loose Women's Club, or the Ugley Women's Club? Makes the rest of us smile though.
By Ed Boyle
Copyright 2003 CBS. All rights reserved.