Simon Cowell Zingers; 10 of the Best

Simon Cowell
AP
Simon Cowell
AP

NEW YORK (CBS) For nine seasons, judge Simon Cowell crushed dreams and egos with his caustic remarks on "American Idol."

To some, his brutal assessments are deemed rude and harsh. But, call him what you want, the sharp-tongued Brit is downright entertaining.  Cowell's  "tell it how it is" attitude is breathtakingly smug and is an invaluable part of the show.

"Idol" execs have big shoes to fill after Cowell  bids farewell on Wednesday's finale.

Pictures: Simon Cowell

Read on for some of his most memorable zingers:

  • "Did you really believe you could become the American Idol? Well, then, you're deaf."

  • "If your lifeguard duties were as good as your singing, a lot of people would be drowning."

  • "I never want to hear that song again. I cannot stand it. I'm allergic to it."

  • "If you would be singing like this two thousand years ago, people would have stoned you."

  • "You sing like a 3-year-old girl dressed like LaTyoa Jackson, you've got a beard...the whole this is too weird."

  • "You sounded like Dolly Parton on helium."

  • "You are a saucy little thing aren't you?

  • "I though it had all the joy of someone singing in a funeral parlor."

  • "I actually wish you had forgotten the lyrics, because it was such a pointless performance."

  • "You sounded like Cher after she's been to the dentist."