R.I.P. Hostess

(CBS News) Across America this weekend, folks are selling Twinkies at truffle-like prices . . . now that Hostess has announced it's halting production. For Bill Flanagan of MTV, it's a national outrage:

Is it possible in this noble constitutional republic that corporate interests intent on breaking every last union have stooped so low as to cancel production of the Hostess Twinkie, the Devil Dog and the Ring Ding?

Has capitalism sunk this far?

Will the president bail out Hostess as he did General Motors? If Wonder Bread is no longer there to build strong bodies 12 ways, who will? The Dunkin Munchkin?

And who is the heartless corporate CEO who pulled the plug on the yodel maker? Mr. Burns from "The Simpsons"?

We lost our shoe factories, our garment industry and our electronics businesses.

Now we're losing our snack cakes.

The only person who stands to gain from this is Little Debbie.

Here's what really gets my goat: The health food fanatics who are already dancing on the Devil Dog's coffin. Last night I got an email from a skinny gluten-free relative: "Ding dong, the Ding Dong's dead."

This came in while I was stockpiling Sno Balls like a survivalist on Y2K.

It never fails to amaze me that people who smoke, who drink alcohol, who drive gas guzzlers, even people who fly around on private jets will react like you're clubbing a baby seal if you unwrap a Yodel.

We need to bring back the distinction between mortal and venial sins.

But first, let's bring back the Hostess Cupcake.


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