Don't expect Louis C.K. to be standing in line for the latest smartphone.
The comedian got into a hilarious (but still very serious and contemplative) discussion Thursday on "Conan" about why he's not a fan of cell phones -- and children having them, in particular.
"I think these things are toxic, especially for kids," he told host Conan O'Brien. "They don't look at people when they talk to them and they don't build empathy. You know, kids are mean, and it's 'cause they're trying it out. They look at a kid and they go, 'You're fat,' and then they see the kid's face scrunch up and they go, 'Oh, that doesn't feel good to make a person do that.' But they got to start with doing the mean thing. But when they write 'You're fat,' then they just go, 'Mmm, that was fun, I like that."
Adults have become dependent on them too, he continued.
"You need to build an ability to just be yourself and not be doing something," the "Louie" star said. "That's what the phones are taking away, is the ability to just sit there. That's being a person, right? Because underneath everything in your life there is that thing, that empty -- forever empty. You know what I'm talking about? That knowledge that it's all for nothing and that you're alone."
"And sometimes when things clear away, you're not watching anything, you're in your car, and you start going, 'Oh no, here it comes. That I'm alone.' It's starts to visit on you. Just this sadness. Life is tremendously sad, just by being in it," he added. "That's why we text and drive. I look around, pretty much 100 percent of the people driving are texting. And they're killing, everybody's murdering each other with their cars. But people are willing to risk taking a life and ruining their own because they don't want to be alone for a second because it's so hard."
He went on to tell a story about how he got "really sad" while in his car listening to Bruce Springsteen's "Jungleland," then joked, "I'm getting sad. Gotta get the phone and write 'Hi' to like 50 people."
Watch their smartphone conversation below: