Excerpts: Chris Pittman Interview

Read excerpts from 48 Hours Correspondent Erin Moriarty's exclusive interview with Chris Pittman. Click here for the full story.

PITTMAN: No, ma'am.

MORIARTY: What do you remember?

PITTMAN: Just about what happened. I mean, just some nights, you know, (UNINTEL PHRASE) kept going in my mind over and over again. So same thing. And it's just hard, you know?

MORIARTY: Is it hard to believe that you were the one that did it?

PITTMAN: It's hard that -- I mean, I don't really know how I could do something like that. Especially to the people I love the most.

MORIARTY: So how do you tell yourself when you say that, "I don't know how I could have done that to people I love the most." How do you think it did happen? Why do you think you did do that that night? Do you have any idea?

PITTMAN: Medicine. That's the only reason that I know. That's the only reason - logical - reason that I could see why it happened.

MORIARTY: Do you remember what led up to it? Were you angry with your grandparents that night? Do you remember any of that?

PITTMAN: Uh-uh (NEGATIVE). I wasn't angry. I mean, I just -- I don't know what happened. It just happened. I mean, they didn't, he didn't even get on to me, really. I mean, he just, you know, told me … that if I didn't straighten up, that my dad might find out and I might have to go back to Florida.

I mean, that's the only thing he told me. And then he gave me a hug afterwards. And I don't know why I got so mad. I mean, it's just -- I don't know.

MORIARTY: So you felt, like, this unusual anger?

PITTMAN: Uh-huh (AFFIRM). I mean, I've never really been angry before. I mean, I've been upset and stuff like that. I mean, 'cause usually, I just keep all my feelings inside and just, I don't know what happened. I mean, at the time, I didn't feel any different.

PITTMAN: It was great. … He didn't always come back down here, I mean, go back down to Florida. … Every time he came, I wouldn't leave his side.

MORIARTY: And did you like going to visit them in South Carolina?

PITTMAN: Yes, ma'am.

MORIARTY: What kind of stuff would you do with your dad, with your grandfather?

PITTMAN: We'd go fishing. We went hunting. Do all kinds of stuff. You know, go around the yard and ride a four-wheeler. Stuff like that.

MORIARTY: And how would you describe your grandfather? What kind of guy was he?

PITTMAN: He had a sense of humor … try to make jokes and stuff.

MORIARTY: Is it hard talking about him?

PITTMAN: Not really. Just trying to get the words, you know? He wasn't strict. I mean, there was certain things he liked done and stuff. But, I mean, not one time in my life -- I seen him get -- I mean, he never been angry. He's been upset. But he hasn't ever been angry, you know, for me or Danielle, or any of my cousins or anything.

I haven't (UNINTEL) angry. I mean, he never whipped us or spanked us, or anything like that. I mean, he'd get onto us. And, you know, afterwards he give us a hug and tell us that he loves us and stuff.

MORIARTY: So even that night, on that night when you had gotten in trouble on the bus, you had gotten in trouble with your grandfather. You'd gone to church. He didn't get very angry with you that night either?

PITTMAN: I don't know.

MORIARTY: Did he hit you?

PITTMAN: Uh-uh (NEGATIVE).

MORIARTY: So do you know why you were so angry with him?

PITTMAN: Uh-uh (NEGATIVE).

MORIARTY: Had you ever felt that kind of anger before?

PITTMAN: Uh-uh (NEGATIVE).

MORIARTY: What did it feel like? Can you kind of just let me know a little bit what that felt like?

PITTMAN: I mean, it just felt like all the time that, you know, you've been mad. It's not, it's just like it all just exploded. I mean, just exploded. I don't know. It just like a bomb going off. MORIARTY: You've heard, and I know you've heard in the courtroom with the prosecutors, saying that you're just this cold-blooded killer.

PITTMAN: Yes (UNINTEL).

MORIARTY: Well, what do you say? What would you say to him if you could say something to him? Who is Chris Pittman? Is he, you know, the prosecutor says you're this cold-blooded killer. The defense team says that you're a child who was a victim of a drug. Who's the real Chris Pittman?

PITTMAN: What my lawyers say. (LAUGHTER) I mean, yeah. I mean, like if the prosecutor -- I mean, they don't try to get to know you or anything. I mean, that's their job. I mean, I respect the man because he's doing his job. I mean, but I'm sure, I mean, like, he probably change his mind if he got to know me. I mean, I don't know. But that's his job not to.

MORIARTY: You've just, can you like help me out, just a little bit because you know people are saying if you loved your grandparents how could something like this happen. Help me understand how something like that could happen.

PITTMAN: I mean, you can't control yourself. This is -- I don't know. I mean, you just can't control yourself.

MORIARTY: Were you aware you were actually going to get the rifle and loading it? I mean, were you aware of that?

PITTMAN: Uh-uh (NEGATIVE). It was just like you sitting there watching TV. I mean, everything that, you know, going on. It can't be stopped. I mean, no matter how much, you know, you don't wanna see what's about to happen, it happens. I mean, it's just like a zombie. You can't control yourself.

MORIARTY: You've heard them talk about in court then -- though how you grabbed your dog and you took the truck and you seemed incredibly calm. How could you be calm after something like that?

PITTMAN: I don't know.

MORIARTY: Do you know what you were feeling afterwards when the police came up?

PITTMAN: Wasn't feeling anything.

MORIARTY: You weren't feeling anything?

PITTMAN: Uh-uh (NEGATIVE). Uh-uh (NEGATIVE).

MORIARTY: Were you scared?

PITTMAN: Uh-uh (NEGATIVE). I wasn't feeling anything. Angry, scared. Nothing.

MORIARTY: Were you aware of what you had done? Did you know that your grandparents were dead at that point?

PITTMAN: I thought it was all a dream.

PITTMAN: After just a long time. I mean, I just kept telling myself it was a dream, it didn't really happen. Every day, you know, waking up (UNINTEL) tell myself it's real. It was like at that period, a long period of time. The whole thing, just this is a dream. This didn't really happen.

MORIARTY: Does it still feel like that?

PITTMAN: Yeah, 'cause I don't know how anything like that could happen.

MORIARTY: You also heard when that police officer said that afterwards you sat and you played cards with her. You were watching television. Again, somebody looks at that and they go, 'How could you do something like that after what you had just done to your grandparents?"

PITTMAN: It didn't faze me at the time. Emotionless.

MORIARTY: When did that start? Do you remember when you started feeling that way?

PITTMAN: Probably about a year or so after.

MORIARTY: No, but I mean when you said you felt emotionless. You didn't feel anything. Had you been feeling that way for a while?

PITTMAN: You mean before it happened?

MORIARTY: Yeah. Like the days leading up.

PITTMAN: Yeah, a couple weeks or so before.

MORIARTY: That you were feeling what?

PITTMAN: Didn't care about anybody. Just myself. I mean, littlest thing that would set me off like what happened on the bus. I mean, he was trying to prove me wrong and I just choked him. Just for saying he thought, saying I threw a piece of paper at him. Just went off on him.

MORIARTY: And is that something you would normally do? At least in your mind, would you--

PITTMAN: Uh-uh (NEGATIVE).

MORIARTY: So why did you in that instance?

PITTMAN: I don't know. MORIARTY: I know that you and your lawyers (UNINTEL) talk about the Zoloft. Help me understand what it does to you. Does it make you angrier than you would be normally? I mean, what is it?

PITTMAN: It's a lot, it's quite a few different things. With me personally, it made me a lot angrier. It -- trying to sleep, I'd be so tired, but I can't go to sleep. I'd be sitting there laying in bed, can't go to sleep. And then I couldn't concentrate on anything I was doing.

The littlest thing would just set me off. I was like a bomb that was ready to blow up. And I felt no one could tell me what to do. I could do it how I wanted to. And that's just I do things I wouldn't normally do. Say things I wouldn't normally say. Act totally different.

MORIARTY: But why do you think it was the drug? I mean, what makes you think that you were angrier and feeling those things because of the drug?

PITTMAN: Because I wouldn't normally be doing it. And I normally wouldn't act like that. Say things that I've said. And done things that I did.

PITTMAN: Yes, ma'am.

MORIARTY: Is that where you really wanted to live?

PITTMAN: Yes, ma'am.

MORIARTY: And what was it like when you first there, with you?

PITTMAN: I was happy. I couldn't have really been more happy. (NOISE)

MORIARTY: Your grandmother took you, well, first Life Stream put you on Paxil.

PITTMAN: Yes, ma'am.

MORIARTY: And then, now when you first went on Paxil, was there any reaction from that?

PITTMAN: Not that I noticed. It was, I was only taking it for like six days. And I didn't really feel no change.

MORIARTY: What about when you were put on Zoloft?

PITTMAN: I think it was, the first I think week I didn't-- week or maybe two, I didn't really feel anything. And then after that, it was like I was acting myself but I wasn't. Because, at the time, I felt like, you know, this is normal. And for some reason I felt like I was normal. That I didn't feel, you know, any changes in myself. It's not 'til after when I look back that I can see the stuff that, you know, happened. And how I was feeling and stuff then.

MORIARTY: What kind of changes, when you look back, do you see in yourself?

PITTMAN: I was a lot more angry, agitated.

MORIARTY: And you're sure it was a pill?

PITTMAN: Yes, ma'am.

PITTMAN: I don't know. It's been hard at points. You know, especially the first days when the, you know, the prosecutor, you know, was putting his own defense up. And then I think the hardest day when-- was, you know, the defense on my turn to put the defense up. I think the hardest day was when my sister, my grandma and my aunt was up, you know, testifying. So I think that was the hardest day.

MORIARTY: Why? Tell me why was it hard when your sister testified?

PITTMAN: Because she started crying. And then I just started crying.

MORIARTY: Were you worried when this happened that your family wouldn't accept you? Would you worry you'd lose your sister, your other grandmother?

PITTMAN: When the trial first started?

MORIARTY: No. When-- right after this incident happened. After you killed your grandparents. Were you worried the rest of your family would just--

PITTMAN: I didn't really care at that point.

MORIARTY: Really?

PITTMAN: Yes, ma'am. 'Cause I remember I had-- (UNINTEL PHRASE) with my sister (UNINTEL), you know, cursing her out and stuff. And my dad and I mean, just then, I mean, I didn't care then.

MORIARTY: So what made the difference then? When did you start caring?

PITTMAN: I guess about a year after. … Years (UNINTEL) something like that. MORIARTY: If you could, what would you tell the jury? What would you want the jury to hear from you?

PITTMAN:How much I loved them.

MORIARTY: Your grandparents?

PITTMAN:Yes ma'am.

MORIARTY: I mean they're looking at you wondering whether you are a cold-blooded killer. You know that's what they're looking, they're trying to look in your eyes and say, "Is this a bad kid or is this a kid who unfortunately took a drug that affected him?" What do you want the jury to know?

PITTMAN:The truth.

MORIARTY: Which is?

PITTMAN:The medicine.

MORIARTY: You totally believe this was the medicine?

PITTMAN: Yes, ma'am.

MORIARTY: When you sat during the trial and they talked about what you had actually done to your grandparents, was that tough to listen to?

PITTMAN: Yes, ma'am.

MORIARTY: That one of the harder days?

PITTMAN: Because I just, I wouldn't say I just got over, but you know I just, I finally got to the point after all this, got to the point where, that, you know, I haven't forgiven myself, but I kind of felt peace with myself. And this, you know, the trial comes and then it all comes back.

MORIARTY: And it seemed so real, I think.

PITTMAN: Yes, ma'am.

MORIARTY: What do you think should happen? What do you hope the jury decides to do?

PITTMAN: Get out with my family. You know, so I can be around my family. That's probably the hardest. It's not missing any of the material things, you know, on the outside. The hardest thing I have is with my family. You know, and being there for my family and not, you know, living (UNINTEL) not be able to come up. I mean I don't really have a problem with you know, being in jail, it's just being away from my family.

MORIARTY: Your family?

PITTMAN: Yes, ma'am.

MORIARTY: So what do you think the jury should do? When you say you'd like to go home or acquit you?

PITTMAN: Yes, ma'am.

MORIARTY: And you think that's fair. To be found not guilty of this.

PITTMAN: Yes, ma'am.

MORIARTY: Do you think that you've paid enough a price?

PITTMAN: Yes--

MORIARTY: You've had three years in juvenile.

PITTMAN: That's a yes and no.

MORIARTY: Yes and no?

PITTMAN: Yes, ma'am. Yes, in a way. But, no in a way, too, because in a way, I feel you know that I should be in jail for the rest of my life in a way. That's just how I feel.

MORIARTY: What do you mean?

PITTMAN:That, you know, it was me, but it wasn't me. And I feel that, you know, I should pay for it. Even though it wasn't me. In a sense because it was my body. It was me, but it wasn't me. I mean that's just how I feel.

PITTMAN: Yes, ma'am.

MORIARTY: At whom?

PITTMAN: At the doctor. At the medicine company, you know. I mean, because if he would've, the doctor would've told us, this stuff couldn't happen. If she wasn't, my Nanna would never, she would never say "OK, we're gonna put him on it." She would never accept it.

MORIARTY: Did the doctor tell you about any side effects of the Zoloft?

PITTMAN: Uh-uh (NEGATIVE). Nothing.

MORIARTY: Nothing?

PITTMAN: Nothing.MORIARTY: And did he tell you why he was putting you on Zoloft?

PITTMAN: Uh-uh (NEGATIVE).

MORIARTY: I mean did you even think about questioning it? I mean, when you go see a doctor and he puts you on medication, did you even think you know what are you putting me on? Or should I be taking this?

PITTMAN: I wasn't thinking about that. Because I mean, I didn't, I haven't been to many doctors in my life, so I mean that wasn't something that-- you know I wasn't-- that was probably the first medication I was ever put on. And I wouldn't really ask any questions. I was depending on him.

MORIARTY: Now you talked about a little earlier how it would make you angrier and you were having trouble sleeping. What other effects do you remember that you connect with taking this drug?

PITTMAN: What do you mean? Like--

MORIARTY: Anything else like any effect that you felt. I mean did it make you feel differently? Did it make you feel nauseated, did it make you-

PITTMAN: It didn't go on the whole time, it just, it was like that, that one night it felt like, you know, my skin was on fire when I talked to my aunt at night. And my nana, she gave me, I don't know if it was Tylenol or aspirin or something like that, but she gave me, you know, like a painkiller for it. And she thought it was just something I ate.

MORIARTY: It hurt that much that you actually took aspirin because you had-- and what did it feel like, your skin was burning?

PITTMAN: Yes, ma'am. It felt like something was under my skin; it was like somebody had a match under my skin.

MORIARTY: And how far before that night did you have that effect? I mean, I guess I should ask how soon after you started taking the medication?

PITTMAN: It was just that one night.

MORIARTY: Just one night you felt that way.

PITTMAN: Yes ma'am.

MORIARTY: Now, Danielle described you as being unable to stop talking. She says that you were talking, talking and you jumped from one sentence to the next. Do you remember that?

PITTMAN: Yes, ma'am.

MORIARTY: And what was that like?

PITTMAN: I really don't remember going down. I remember being down there for Thanksgiving but I really don't remember, you know, everything that happened and stuff at Thanksgiving. But I do know I do remember that my thoughts, every time, I'd do something before I could actually think about it. It was just my thoughts racing through my head really fast.

And, like with the, one of the school bus (UNINTEL) before I could even, you know, say whether I wanted to choke him or, you know, do anything to him or not. It just happened. It would just go through my mind so fast that after I done did it that's when I think, that's when, you know, I knew what happened after. And just thoughts would race through my mind really fast.

PITTMAN: When I was laying in bed, you know, I told you that, how I tried to go to sleep, but I couldn't.

MORIARTY: This is the night it happened, right?

PITTMAN: Yeah, I was tired, but I couldn't go to sleep. And I was just laying there, trying to go to sleep and it was just like these voices in my head, just echoing in my head, getting louder and louder and louder.

MORIARTY: The kind of voices would you say-- voices. Like numerous voices?

PITTMAN: It was like one voice echoing, like you know, you shot into a cave or something.

MORIARTY: And what were these voices saying?

PITTMAN: Kill.

MORIARTY: I mean, when you say they were saying kill, how strong was that voice?

PITTMAN: Strong enough to where I did it. MORIARTY: Is it still hard to believe today that you did this?

PITTMAN: Yes, ma'am.

MORIARTY: I hate to ask you this, but what if the jury convicts you? Have you even tried to think about that?

PITTMAN: Uh-huh (AFFIRM). That's why I try to stay neutral, where if, you know, I try to stay neutral, you know found innocent, found guilty, I try to stay neutral with that. I'd like to be found innocent, but I'm not, and I got to deal with it the best way I can.

MORIARTY: You scared of that?

PITTMAN: Yes ma'am.

MORIARTY: If you are acquitted, though, what do you want to do with your life?

PITTMAN: I want to finish high school. Go in the Marines.

MORIARTY: Oh, you want to go in the Marines?

PITTMAN: Yes, ma'am. You know, so I can get paid for college and go to college. I want to do a prison ministry with my grandma when I get out because she was talking about doing it, so I told her I'd do it with her?

MORIARTY: What were you gonna do?

PITTMAN: Prison administration. … And then I want to go to college. But I don't really know what for. I mean I like math and I like science. And, so I mean, maybe chemistry or something like that.

PITTMAN: Yes ma'am.

MORIARTY: Can you tell me about that a little bit? … I mean, you've been let down a lot.

PITTMAN: Uh-huh (AFFIRM). Yeah ,I have. My own family, you know. It's been hard, but you know, it happens enough you kind of get used to it. You're like OK. I mean you get to where you trust somebody, but you don't in a way. That's just how, you know, that's just how it was. You know, you hope, that they're saying that, you know, like someone said that they would do, you hope that they would do it, but you didn't really, you know, depend on it in a way.

MORIARTY: Now, your dad didn't come to your trial. Were you disappointed by that?

PITTMAN: No, 'cause I mean, the lawyers told him not to. So I mean I know he wanted to come up here, he wanted -- he wants to come up here really bad. I mean, I miss him, I want to see him, and I told him that I wanted him up here. He wanted to come up here, too, but the lawyers told him not to, right now.

MORIARTY: But there was one time when you didn't want to even live with him.

PITTMAN: Uh-huh (AFFIRM). (COUGHING) That was back then. You know as I've gotten older, I've realized that, you know, he's made a lot of mistakes that, you know, I can forgive him for. And I know that he knows that that's the only thing that he knew was right at the time. I mean, he didn't know how to discipline us. He did what he thought was right.

MORIARTY: Would he hit you?

PITTMAN: Uh-huh (AFFIRM).

MORIARTY: With a belt?

PITTMAN: Uh-huh (AFFIRM). Belt. Anything, really. Two-- There was a paddle made out of a two-by-four that he hit us with-- hit me with, but I don't think Danielle ever seen him hit me with it. I mean, he only hit me with it once. Why he made it, but--

MORIARTY: How hard would he hit you?

PITTMAN: Hard enough to make, you know, black and blue. You know.

MORIARTY: Have you forgiven yourself?

PITTMAN: It's hard. It's gonna take a long time. But eventually.

MORIARTY: What will it take? What do you think?

PITTMAN: Time. You know. Really, it's time.