Preventing parental blow ups while frustrated with children's behavior
PITTSBURGH (KDKA) -- Your children may be your pride and joy, but sometimes they may make you want to explode. KDKA's John Shumway looked into ways to help you keep your cool.
As hard as you may try to avoid it, showing frustration is likely to happen.
When the child misbehaves, we often react in a harsh way. Maybe we yell, we show frustration, we get angry and of course, the child thinks are you mad at me?" said Amy McCready, Founder of Positive Parenting Solutions.
McCready says getting angry and frustrated is normal. What comes next may take some work, starting with the cause of their actions.
"Maybe they're overtired. Maybe our routines are not consistent. Enough. There's always a reason," McCready said.
McCready says you can't find that reason if you're exploding.
"The first thing that we can do is emotionally connect with the child and show empathy. Wow, buddy, you must be feeling really angry. You must be feeling really frustrated." McCready said.
Taking that approach calms the situation and opens the door to solving the problem. McCreary says to think about how you would react if your boss yelled at you at work.
"You wouldn't feel inspired to do better. You would feel discouraged and frustrated and that's exactly how our kids feel," McCready said.
McCready says if blowing up happens every time, it can become cumulative and will affect the relationship between parent and child.
When it comes to blow ups, McCready says there are some things you can do to avoid them.
Your priorities may differ from theirs, but a blow up seldom works, so McCready says one thing you can do is to make sure they're aware the issue isn't over, but just that you need a minute.
She also suggests putting up sticky notes to remind you of certain things to do when a child misbehaves.
"You can be frustrated over a particular behavior, but when you make it personal, that's what's so deeply hurtful to the child," McCready said.
Lastly, McCready says you shouldn't give in, but instead you should establish expectations and routines that the family has, making the kids aware of consequences of non-compliance in advance.
This way, you don't have to blow up or back down. They know the rules ahead of time.