Pirates Fans' Top 50 Reasons To #HateTheCards

PITTSBURGH (93-7 The Fan) – With a crucial Pirates vs. Cardinals four-game series set to begin in a matter of hours, The Fan Morning Show set out on a mission to compile a list of reasons to hate the Cardinals, who have become the Pirates' arch nemesis.

It started out Thursday morning with a #HateTheCards hashtag, and listeners took it from there.

Suddenly, Pirates fans were swarming Twitter with a bevy of reasons to dislike the Redbirds- and within a couple hours, #HateTheCards was trending nationally.

Courtesy of The Fan Morning Show's fantastic listeners- far too many tweeters and callers to list here- here are 50 great reasons to #HateTheCards:

• Yadier Molina's neck tattoo (which isn't nearly as good as Jose Tabata's)
• Tony La Russa
• Tony La Russa's mullet
• Holier-than-thou, self-righteous fans
• The "Cardinal Way"
• They supposedly have a squeaky-clean image yet they signed Jhonny Peralta fresh off a PED suspension
• The "h" in Jhonny Peralta's name
• Jim Edmonds dodged balls so he could make a diving catch and show off his "athleticism"
• They hacked the Astros
• That silly jig that Jason Motte did after every pitch
• The fact that almost everyone they add becomes good
• Willie McGee's ugly nostrils and hair
• They're red just like the communists were
• Chris Carpenter's attitude
• Matt Carpenter's eyebrows
• Randy Choate's goatee
• Jack Buck and Joe Buck
• Jon Jay and his two first names
• Kolten Wong's multiple walk-offs against the Pirates and his over-the-top bat flip
• Pittsburgh gave America Jonas Salk; St. Louis gave America Nelly
• The stupid little bird on their uniforms
• David Eckstein and his hair
• Scott Spezio and his red-dyed soul patch
• Mark McGwire and his tainted home runs
• St. Louis style ribs are awful
• They're treated like the ultimate winners when they haven't won a World Series since 2011
• St. Louis is nowhere close to as nice as Pittsburgh
• Their sense of entitlement
• If the Pirates were in any other division in baseball they'd be a division leader
• Gary Gaetti didn't have ear flaps on his helmet
• "Wacha" sounds like the annoying sound that Pac-Man makes
• Wacha is spoiling Fozzie Bear for all of us
• The Tony La Russa and Lloyd McLendon confrontation in 2004
• Clark Griswold had his hubcaps stolen when he asked for directions in St. Louis
• St. Louis stole Pittsburgh's title as "The Gateway to the West"
• Paula Deen is a Cardinals fan
• Parrots are cooler birds than Cardinals
• The 2006 Cardinals won the World Series despite only winning 83 games
• They stole Jenifer Langosch
• They will probably pick up the players that the Pirates need at the trade deadline
• If they fall out of the playoff race, that will probably get more attention than the Pirates surging ahead of them
• Tom Sawyer was a criminal
• They used to be called the "St. Louis Perfectos" (of course)
• They always seem to take a two-outs-with-nobody-on-situation into a two-run inning using four bloop singles
• Ozzie Smith's backflips
• They're like the rich kid down the street that gets everything handed to them for no reason
• No matter where a pitch is, Yadier Molina thinks it's a strike and can't let it go, to the point where he argued a call in the middle of a play on Wednesday night
• They're so boring to watch
• They just won't go away, like the 90's Braves or "Uptown Funk"
• We're sick of hearing that Matt Adams is from Slippery Rock

Listen to the #HateTheCards from the show.

Like The Fan On Facebook
Follow The Fan On Twitter

Read more
f

We and our partners use cookies to understand how you use our site, improve your experience and serve you personalized content and advertising. Read about how we use cookies in our cookie policy and how you can control them by clicking Manage Settings. By continuing to use this site, you accept these cookies.