Youth sports leaders alarmed at uptick of parents being aggressive toward officials during games

Youth sports leaders alarmed at uptick of parents being aggressive toward officials

FARMINGVILLE, N.Y. -- Back to school means back to sports for many kids. This year, sports officials aren't just reminding student athletes about good sportsmanship, but their parents too.

Many officials told CBS New York's John Dias there has been an uptick in aggression among parents at youth sports games across the country, including the Tri-State Area.

"Parents are more aggressive. They want immediate results. They want wins," said Kurt Kelley, owner of KK Athletics and coach.

Kelley said he has noticed an unfortunate trend -- some parents beginning to ruin sports for kids by getting too angry at their games.

"I've actually had to separate parents from referees," said Kelley.

According to the National Alliance for Youth Sports, 70 percent of kids stop playing sports by the age of 13 partly due to parental behavior.

"When everything is based on the outcome on the scoreboard, we have completely lost how the kids feel about it," said Karissa Niehoff, CEO of the National Federation of State High School Associations.

These poor adult actions are also leading to a referee and umpire shortage. Since 2018, more than 50,000 high school referees have quit, citing the actions of parents in the audience.

Niehoff said it's only getting worse.

"Every single state, at all levels, are reporting behavior of parents. Even at CYO games," said Niehoff. "Many more incidents that are violent in nature, not just verbally abusive."

New York State legislators are now getting involved. A bill currently sits in committee that would make aggravated harassment of a sports official a Class B misdemeanor.

The Sachem Youth Advisory Group, or S.Y.A.G., says it has a strict code of conduct listed on its website to prevent things from getting out of hand.

"We also talk with the parents before the season starts," said Mark Zellman, baseball commissioner of S.Y.A.G. "And we explain to them that, let the coaches coach, let the umpires umpire, and let the parents come out and root for their team."

But why has there been an uptick in adult aggression nationwide? There are theories.

"Parents are very wound up about their kids excelling," said Dr. Richard Weissbourd, faculty director of human development and psychology at the Harvard Graduate School of Education. "Their kids excelling is a status symbol for them. Their kids excelling is a way of living out their own dreams."

Weissbourd said sometimes these aggressive behaviors can also be a way of showing love.

"It's a product of our age of helicopter parenting," said Weissbourd. "A lot of times, in the name of protecting your kid's moment-to-moment happiness."

Experts believe some parents get so heated because they think their child will get a scholarship to college or become a professional athlete. But coaches say fewer than 2% of NCAA student-athletes play professionally.

Officials say parents should be good role models at games. They say childing won't build good character by winning all the time, but by losing and learning to pick themselves up. 

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