"To Die For": Beloved recipes etched in stone
At her home in Racine, Wisconsin, Michele Robinson is cooking up a spaghetti chicken casserole just like her mother Karen used to make. "Every time you make it, you feel like, 'Oh, is this just living up to grandma's standards and mom's standards?'" she said. "Yeah, there is a little pressure!"
It's been eight years since Karen Nelson passed away. She was known for her cheery disposition and love of cooking. Of her mom's spaghetti chicken casserole, Michelle said, "Every time we have it, we think of her, and then we start telling stories about her. It's always fun to reminisce then. You know, she is never forgotten."
But should a family member ever forget the casserole recipe, they need only pay a visit to the nearby cemetery, where the instructions for Karen's famous spaghetti chicken casserole have been etched on her headstone.
That specific recipe was the clear winner, said Lauren Longrie Robinson: "Oh yeah, I mean, if you think of grandma, all you see is chicken spaghetti. You wouldn't think of anything else!"
While memorializing a death with a dish is certainly unusual, it's not unheard of. There is a small community of folks who do this. "I feel like we should go on vacation together or something!" said Michelle.
Author and archivist Rosie Grant has assembled an entire cookbook of headstone recipes that are "To Die For."
"We all have that dish our parent made for us, or a loved one made for us as a kid, that when we eat it, we're taken back to that," said Grant. "And something that's, like, very, practical about a cemetery gravestone is that, like, you'll get this recipe from the gravestone, and it's now preserved for these generations."
While Grant pursued her masters in Library Science, one of her professors encouraged her to create a TikTok account focused on a niche topic. For GhostlyArchive, she chose unique gravestones.
In one early video, Grant decided to bake a Spritz Cookie from a gravestone she'd stumbled upon online. "And I'd imagine, if it ended up on her gravestone, it's gotta be a pretty good cookie, you know?" she said.
"So, I posted the process on TikTok of just like, what's it like to make these gravestone cookies," said Grant. "And I should say like, my world overnight blew up! It was, like, crazy, the response from people."
She soon learned about a cheese dip recipe in Iowa, and a carrot cake recipe in California, etched in stone.
The spritz cookies that started it all can be found in the Green-Wood Cemetery in Brooklyn, atop the headstone of Naomi Miller-Dawson. Her son, Richard, and his niece, Nailah, said Naomi was known for her baking.
"Her cookies were our favorite," Richard said.
They brought a box of cookies for me to try. I went with the Christmas tree design. "That was her favorite shape," said Nailah.
While I thought they were delicious, they elicit different tasting notes for those who knew and loved the original chef. These simple sugar cookies become bittersweet.
"Not only when we eat them, you just have to smell them baking," said Richard. "It brings back the memories of Christmas past and different holidays and events."
Whether it's a mother's chicken soup or Kay's Famous Fudge, a cherished recipe can help keep a memory alive.
Grant said, "They were just, like, very giving people. And I can't help but think that that's why – whether it was their decision or their family's decision – to do a very extraordinary gravestone, 'cause they were just in their universes very extraordinary people. I wish I had gotten to know all of them. They're all wonderful!"
RECIPE: Spritz Cookies, from "To Die For"
RECIPE: Spaghetti Chicken Casserole, from "To Die For"
For more menu suggestions check out the "Sunday Morning" 2025 "Food Issue" recipe index
For more info:
- "To Die For: A Cookbook of Gravestone Recipes" by Rosie Grant (Harvest), in Hardcover and eBook formats, available via Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Bookshop.org
- GhostlyArchive in TikTok
Story produced by David Rothman. Editor: George Pozderec.