Dan Haren's Twitter Musings Are Just Terrific

(CBS) Recently retired right-hander Dan Haren, who finished his MLB career with the Cubs, has always been a fun follow on Twitter, where he boasts a self-deprecating handle of @ithrow88, a reference to his soft-tossing style.

Now in retirement, Haren has even more time on his hands to entertain us on Twitter. And he did so Monday with a series of funny tweets while exercising.

Take a look.

I'm on an exercise bike, bored, so here are some things about my baseball career that come to mind......
— dan haren (@ithrow88) January 4, 2016

I went into almost every start the last few years thinking... How the hell am I gonna get these guys out
— dan haren (@ithrow88) January 4, 2016

There's was atleast 3-4 times I thought the team plane was gonna crash.
— dan haren (@ithrow88) January 4, 2016

I would count out the days about a month in advance to see if I was gonna pitch in Coors field.
— dan haren (@ithrow88) January 4, 2016

One of my favorite moment ever was hitting a homer off Chris carpenter. I took my time running the bases.
— dan haren (@ithrow88) January 4, 2016

I gave up 11 runs in Toronto and got the win one time.
— dan haren (@ithrow88) January 4, 2016

I had to take Imodium most days I pitched to plug myself up. ????
— dan haren (@ithrow88) January 4, 2016

Why the hell did Bj Upton hit so many homers off me..... This probably ties into the last tweet as well. I did much better facing Melvin
— dan haren (@ithrow88) January 4, 2016

I only hit like 5-7 people on purpose.
— dan haren (@ithrow88) January 4, 2016

My threat to retire didn't quite work last offseason
— dan haren (@ithrow88) January 4, 2016