Everyone On Twitter Made One Of Two Tom Brady Jokes After Scissors Incident, Thumb Injury
By Matt Dolloff, CBS Boston
BOSTON (CBS) -- The fruits, they hung low. The cheap jokes, they blasted out like a firehose.
That should not have been a surprise as soon as news broke on Tom Brady's absence in the Patriots' Thursday night preseason tilt against the Chicago Bears. When a Hall-of-Fame quarterback is expected to start, then suddenly gets pulled from that start, a groundswell begins.
And then, when it's discovered that Brady sliced his thumb open with a pair of scissors ... you could already see the armies gathering for the latest scrum, ready to charge.
While there are still details the media would probably like to wring from the story - like, you know, just how bad Brady's thumb cut really is - this kind of story is rife with joke possibilities. However, most people on Twitter jumped right to the two easiest options.
Admittedly, the first one - Tom Brady got cut! - was good for some laughs. The first few times, anyway ...
BREAKING: Tom Brady Cut
— ???? POSITIVE BRUINS FAN ???? (@jeffisrael25) August 19, 2016
Guarantee Tom Brady was one guy on the Patriots 90-man roster who wasn't worried about getting cut this preseason.
— Emily McCarthy (@emilymccahthy) August 19, 2016
Never thought Tom Brady would get cut in the preseason. *crickets* Ok, I'll leave now. https://t.co/ifg4mwFnzb
— Mac Cerullo (@MacCerullo) August 19, 2016
But the other low-hanging fruit only induced eye-rolls. People couldn't help themselves but joke about, well, you know ...
Tom Brady cut himself trying to deflate another football lmao
— jake (@JLoweSnipes22) August 19, 2016
They are reporting Tom Brady cut his finger using scissors, but we all know it was with the needle he uses to deflate balls. #NFL #Patriots
— Davis (@Swarley1271) August 19, 2016
Tom Brady cut his finger with scissors and didn't play last night, quickest way to deflate footballs I suppose
— Chuck (@Charlie_Hudson8) August 19, 2016
These continued DeflateGate jokes aren't terribly bothersome. They'll probably happen forever so you have to move on as a Patriots fan at some point, or else you'll go insane. They're just not particularly clever or humorous anymore.
There are some gems out there, though. Need proof? Here's a DeflateGate-related joke that was actually funny:
ROGER! pic.twitter.com/lzRPpWE8ZG
— Jeff Howe (@jeffphowe) August 19, 2016
And as a bonus, here's a funny one that was actually original:
Plus, Patriots fans can take solace that stuff like this only motivates Brady to be even better. Sounds like he only has himself to blame for whatever he was doing with those scissors, but if you really want to keep jabbing at him, go right ahead.
Matt Dolloff is a writer for CBSBostonSports.com. His opinions do not necessarily reflect that of CBS or 98.5 The Sports Hub. Have a news tip or comment for Matt? Follow him on Twitter @mattdolloff and email him at mdolloff@985thesportshub.com.