The November issue of Cosmopolitan magazine explains the differences between how men and women fall in love and offers women tips on how to deal with men's changing, puzzling moods.
"We tend to get to the emotional more quickly than guys do, and we're not as hot and cold," Kate White , Cosmopolitan's editor in chief, told The Early Show co-anchor Julie Chen. "When we're dealing with a guy, we can be confused and confounded by what they're experiencing, and read it wrong. They're more hot and cold in the early phases than we are, so it's confusing."
White said there are four phases of falling in love for men:
"Guys fall in love with their eyes first. It may be the way you look in jeans or the way you lick your lips," White said. "Regardless, it's a physical thing, visual, and it triggers testosterone and that gives them that hot for you feeling. But you have to be careful. Even though they're infatuated, don't get ahead of it because he doesn't know his true intentions yet. It's all hormonal at this phase."
"You've had a few date and you've begun to see there's an emotional, intellectual connection so he brings out the flowers, dinners, text messages," White said. "What's going on for him is there's this whole rush of hormones, like he has a brain buzz of infatuation. What he's doing with the gifts and everything is reinforcing that wonderful hormonal high, because when he gets your approval, it makes it better for him. But he can also be a little hot and cold during this period because he may be fearing rejection a little bit, and also he may just not be sure. So the best thing you can do during this phase is work on reinforcing the emotional and intellectual connection, letting him know that's there."
"This is where we really get confused," White said. "Now you're in the courtship phase, even leaving a toothbrush at his place, he leaves one at yours, feels good. Guys start to worry that they're not ready to commit. They may sense you are. Some of those hormones are waning and he's not feeling quite as passionate, even though there's a connection. So he'll pick a fight. We've all had that romantic weekend and he picks a fight afterwards or he may not call you for a few days. You just have to chill during this phase because give him time to reinforce in his own mind, there is a connection and he wants to go to the next phase, the final four phase."
"Those infatuation hormones get replaced by love hormones. He's in a blissful state, he even likes lying on the couch with you," White said. "Now it's important to not become two couch potatoes, that you want to do things to refresh the bond and keep making it strong."