Vanity Fair Girl Band Contractually Obligated to Perform in Lingerie

Last Updated Feb 20, 2009 5:15 PM EST

Bra manufacturer Vanity Fair has created an all-girl band who are contractually obligated to perform topless except for their bras, according to Ad Age.

The Vassarettes (pictured) have only one song (see video below), but two YouTube videos and an elaborate web site. They sound a bit like the Donnas, if the Donnas had been kidnapped and replaced by Stepford Wife robots. Note the logo similarity (below).

In addition to being the name of the band, Vassarette is also the name of a VF line of lingerie, which the company is hoping will benefit from the effort.

That name originally came from the Vassar-Swiss Underwear Co., and not as a reference to the highly selective liberal arts college famed for turning out a certain type of woman.

Although, if the Vassarettes had been composed entirely of Vassar alumni contractually obligated to wear bras while performing ... well, let's just say that VF missed an opportunity.

The Vassarettes' one song, "Are you ready for the real thing?" seems to tempt listeners to answer, "But you're not the real thing. You're a corporate gimmick."

The lyrics aren't any help:

Are you ready for the real thing? take a look around the Vassarettes are here to make you sing coming to your town hey what we're not just pretty flowers oh yeah we've got the secret powers just like firecracker candy Oh-woah, oh-woah All the girls go boom-badda-boom-badda boom All the boys go boom-badda-boom-boom-boom everybody go boom-badda-boom-badda-boom.
Prediction: Very few people will be going "boom-badda-boom," etc.

VF will doubtless gather a humungous amount of free publicity for this stunt (guilty as charged). But will it sell bras? The problem with the Vassarettes is that they seem to be destined to be of much more interest to men than to women, despite the mostly female crowd of "fans" gathered to go nuts at the Vassarettes "concert" filmed in their video.

As such, Nicole Dionne of PrimalScream Music, who created the band for VF, may have set herself up for a high profile sales failure. We'll see.

P.S. Can you believe an Ad Age writer was allowed to use the phrase "over-the-shoulder-boulder-holders" when he wrote his story?