Try Tuning This Out

<B>Andy Rooney</b> Ponders TV Shows Whose Ads Are Part Of The Program

A weekly commentary by CBS News correspondent Andy Rooney.



As I'm sure you know, some television viewers tune out when the commercials come on. Naturally, advertisers don't like that, because they're paying for the show you're watching.

A Hollywood producer named Michael Davies is going to do something about it. He's going to make television shows where the advertising message will be part of the shows themselves - not interruptions. This will make it impossible for people to tune out the commercial.

Because I don't want to be left behind any new technology in television, I decided to see if I could put commercials in my pieces.

In order to be loyal to our sponsors in this sample piece, I'll use products that have actually been advertised on 60 Minutes. You should remember them:
  • Staples
  • Saturn
  • Ion
  • Breathe Right
  • Celebrex
  • Dulcolax
  • Lenscrafters
  • Zoloft
  • Zocor
  • Pepcid
  • Serenity Dry Active Liners
  • Theraflu
OK. Now, say for example, I wanted to talk about war with Iraq and include commercials in that. Here's how it might go:

It's my opinion we should not attack Iraq without the support of the United Nations. The trouble with that is, the U.N. is so tied up with red tape and paperwork, it can't decide what to do. For your paperwork problems and the very in best red tape, visit a Staples office supply store near you.

Or this:

President Bush seems intent on taking us to war with Iraq. If we attack, the Army will probably need about 1,500 MI tanks. One tank costs about $3 three million.

General Motors made these tanks. General Motors also makes the Saturn car. You could buy 200 Saturns for what one tank costs the Army. Zero percent financing. Offer ends March l.


And this:

Speaking of Iraq, let me read you something President Bush said in referring to Saddam Hussein: "I am sick and tired of games and deceptions."

Americans are almost evenly divided about going to war. Some approve, others strongly oppose the idea. If the thought of going to war turns your stomach, try Pepcid AC, just one and heartburn's done.

If you are seriously upset by the thought of war with Iraq, take Zoloft, Dulcolax, Thera-Flu, Celebrex or Serenity Guards for urine leakage. Ask your doctor which is right for you.


And finally:

"I want to apologize tonight for my voice. I have a slight cold. I should have worn a Breathe Right nasal strip. There, don't I sound better?


So, what do you think about integrating commercials into my pieces like that?

Written By ANDY ROONEY
  • Mary-Jayne McKay

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