The 60 Minutes/Vanity Fair Poll

President Obama recently implored Americans to find our "national character" and our new 60 Minutes/Vanity Fair Poll humbly seeks to help the cause. We hope that you find it topical, fun, amusing, illuminating and most importantly, interesting.

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No. 1: Our first question asked what American business best symbolizes the country today, and Walmart was the winner by a wide margin. It used to be said that as General Motors goes, so goes the nation, it appears the face of corporate America is now a smiley face.

No. 2: Further evidence of Walmart's pervasiveness in American culture can be found in the response to another poll question that asked people if they would use Walmart's expanding healthcare clinics for routine checkups and services. More than 4 in 10 said they would with younger people being more inclined to do it than older people. If Walmart is going to become America's new family doctor they may have to expand their slogan to, "Save Money, Live Better, Die Better".

No. 3: When it comes to solving America's obesity problem, over half of our respondents wanted either a ban on food stamps being used on high fat foods or a fast food tax. So who were the 15% that wanted no action taken to reduce the epidemic? We assume they are obese people on food stamps that love fast food.

No. 4: The poll asked whether Americans would support a tax of 50% or more on the very wealthiest millionaires, the verdict? The peasants win in a squeaker 51% to 45%. Storm the Bastille!

No. 5: Another question asked which luxuries or niceties are hardest to cut back on in these tough economic times? The top 2 vote getters were dining out and vacations with 33% and 27% respectively. Only 4% thought it was harder to cut back on booze, primarily, we surmise because in harsh economic times why would you do that?

No. 6: It appears that our younger generation is not atwitter about Twitter. Less than 20% of 18-44 year olds think it's an important new tool, while about half the respondents from that age bracket think that it's a fad that will fade away.

No. 7: Some fads will never fade away, like politicians who have affairs and take bribes. 44% of those polled think that doing both are bad, but which one is worse? Good old fashioned payoffs win in a landslide.

No. 8: Americans were asked if and when the president would announce a timetable for pulling the troops out of Afghanistan and our poll mirrored the consensus Americans share on the subject, none. So who really knows what's going to happen there? No one.

No. 9: Men were asked who they would rather trade places with between Barack Obama, George Clooney Tom Brady and Bruce Springsteen. It appears the boys would rather be a movie star 26%, then President 24% then a football star and a rock star 17%/16%. But who were the 17% that answered "Don't know/ none of the above"? We don't know but there's a good chance that those guys may need to get out a little more often.

No. 10: Meanwhile the ladies were asked to choose between Michelle Obama, Hillary Clinton, Angelina Jolie and Beyonce so who won? 33% responded "Don't know/ none." If we're asked to offer an opinion as to what those ladies were thinking we'll take the high road and say "Don't Know" However, the women that did offer an opinion clearly went for the First Lady over the Secretary of State which means they'd prefer to be married to a sitting president than a former one.

No. 11: Finally when asked whose likeness is most likely to be used to sell products 100 years from now, Michael Jackson received 24%, Miley Cyrus 10%, James Dean 7% Madonna 6% and the clear winner was Albert Einstein with 35%. Smart choice. No, brilliant choice.

Read the complete 60 Minutes/ Vanity Fair poll