Help! I'm Smarter than My Sales Manager!
A reader writes:
I'm a 33-year old career-oriented woman, with an MBA. I've always reported to senior managers, but my company went through some recent restructuring and I am now reporting to someone my age, who tries to prove herself all the time. I try not to focus on her lack of experience and managerial skills and instead focus on doing a great job and delivering results. But she gets irritated with me very easily, tells me it is frustrating working with me because I have a hard time understanding her and she has a hard time getting her point across. We have had several arguments in the 2 months we've been working together. What should I do make this relationship a win-win situation?Happy to oblige, but you might not like what I have to say. Here's what you need to do:
- Reframe the problem. While your boss sounds annoying, she's still within the range of normal boss behavior. If you want a comparison of how awful some bosses can be, check out the post: "Worst Sales Manager Contest." Annoying as your situation is, it's neither earth-shaking or career-threatening. So relax.
- Consider your boss's perspective. From your boss's viewpoint, you are now a management problem because you've constantly questioned her authority. The real problem here isn't your boss (bad bosses are everywhere), but that you have let the fact that you are more qualified than your boss turn you into a difficult employee.
- Make major nice-nice. Apologize, admit you were wrong (even if you think you weren't), and promise to be more cooperative in future. That's all you can do at this point. Never argue with your boss again, because it's an argument you'll never win. You can discuss ideas and approaches, but the minute you feel that it's approaching an argument, stop. Don't ever cross that line again.
- Present your ideas clearly. Continue to come up with ideas and recommendations but defer to her when there's a decision to be made. See: "How to Tell Your Boss He's Wrong.") If she has other ideas, try to weave your own ideas into them, but don't hard sell. Do what you can to make your job easier, but don't let it rankle that she isn't as bright and as qualified as you are.
- Respect her decisions. Once she's made a decision, do your best to implement it. Am I saying that she's a brilliant manager? No. Am I saying that you shouldn't be HER boss? No. Am I saying that you don't have a right to be irritated? No. Am I telling you that she's the boss and therefore makes the decisions? Oh, mai oui! That's the way that businesses work.
- Document your progress. Bosses who are insecure usually push blame on their subordinates. Document everything with status reports, each of which gives her credit for the decision, but establishes that you're working hard to implement exactly what was asked of you. Make sure that you get credit for any good work that you do. Make sure that she gets appropriate credit for either the success or failure of her plans.
- Leave as soon you can. If you're as smart as you think you are, somebody will eventually notice, especially if you're giving them the opportunity to do so by interviewing, networking and getting your name out there. With any luck, you'll be on reasonably good terms with your current boss when you leave. And, truth be known, she'll probably be happy to see you go. That's the win/win, I'm afraid.
The above recipe is specifically for dealing with an insecure boss who's less qualified. The key concept is "submission" which is what the insecure boss wants and needs from you. If you've got a boss who's secure and basically worth cultivating, I recommend my feature article: How to Manage Your Boss.