The letters I get come in four general categories. It may be more or less, but say "four."
One, I get a lot of good letters. They're the best kind. They're from people who liked something I said. I can always take that.
Two, I get letters from someone trying to get me to promote something on "60 Minutes." I never do that. Never.
Three, I get letters from people who are mad about something I said. They usually think I was wrong.
Four, I get a lot of letters about what I look like - letters pointing out something about my appearance.
Recently, I made some remarks about our mail and the U.S. Postal Service.
A lot of people thanked me for supporting postal workers. You could tell they were all from mailmen because they called themselves "postal workers." I always called them mailmen. The letters also referred to the U.S. Postal Service, but I still call that the post office.
Robert W. Lovaasen, Jr. writes, "I am a postmaster in a small town in south Louisiana, I greatly appreciate hearing your support for the U.S. Postal Service!"
The mayor of Slater, Missouri says "I totally agree with you on the fact that people do not correspond thru the mail anymore and I am curious if you ever received this letter."
Let me see. No, Mr. Mayor. I don't think I ever got your letter, maybe it was lost in the mail.
I frequently get a lot of letters about what I look like.
This one from Dennis Ryan in Clifton Park, New York says "I notice you wear your wristwatch with the dial facing inward. My dad did the same thing."
Yes, I wear it that way because it's easy to see what time it is Mr. Ryan. Didn't your father tell you that?
My least favorite mail comes from people who want me to promote something.
Obviously they don't know that I don't do that. I guess that's why someone sent me a Michael Jackson cutout paper doll book.
Here's a nice letter to the producer of "60 Minutes" from someone named M. Titus.
Mr. Titus says about me, "He's not funny, he's not clever, he makes me dislike old men in general."
Next week maybe I'll do a funny and clever piece about you Mr. Titus.
Written by Andy Rooney