Andy Rooney: I'm Not Negative

Andy Wants to Set The Record Straight!

People have often accused me of being negative. They say I complain too much, and if I don't like it here why don't I go someplace else?

Well, I want to correct the impression I may have given that I'm too critical. I should talk more about some of the things that are good in America.

First, taxes. Our taxes for instance are all just great. They're among the highest in the world. Now you can't beat that. The more you make, the more you pay. Taxes provide thousands of jobs for Internal Revenue workers, too.

Television commercials - there aren't enough of them, as far as I'm concerned. Half the time the commercials are the best part of a show. A lot of people fast forward through a program just to watch the commercials.

Everyone complains about oil company profits. Right on, I say that's the American way. More power to the oil companies. If people don't here don't like paying $2.55 a gallon for gas, why don't they can go to another country. They can take their car to Venezuela. If they have two cars, they can take them both there.

I love what you can do with a computer, now too. You can bank, pay bills, write e-mails, send pictures to friends, waste time. I mean computers have made wasting time easy. You can do everything on your computer.

Aren't those multi-million dollar bonuses paid to Wall Street executives great? They've got it coming. That's what I say. They've not only got it coming, they've got it coming and going.

They say that drug companies charge too much for medications. Not me. I don't say that. I say if you don't like it, don't buy any medicines. Make your own pills, or just stay sick.

And you say I'm negative about everything.


Written by Andy Rooney
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