Andy Gets A Lot Of Stuff
This segment was originally broadcast on April 16, 2006.
The following is a weekly 60 Minutes commentary by CBS News correspondent Andy Rooney.
Sometimes I worry that people are nicer to me than I am to them. Viewers send me things all the time and it makes me cranky because it's stuff I don't want that's too good to throw away.
I get a lot of caps, for instance. People who are proud of belonging to some organization send me a cap with the name on it. I guess they think I'll wear it. It is, however, highly unlikely that I'll cover my head with a United Auto Workers Local 602 cap anytime soon.
Another one reads "Fusion." I don't know what "Fusion" means.
One that was sent to me says "Stop Overseas Outsourcing Now." I wouldn't be surprised if all three of these caps were made in China.
Amateur artists send me pictures of myself.
A woman from Verona, N.J., thought I'd be amused by this milk carton that says "From real cows". I do find that amusing. They're fooling around with milk so much these days you can't tell where it comes from or what it really is.
I get a lot of T-shirts and I never wear a T-shirt. One says "God Bless Union People." Well, I doubt that God takes a position on union people. He's got other problems on his mind.
We got some good candy from "Railroad Bill's" in Rapid City, S.D. - Cashew Crunch. We aren't supposed to accept gifts of any kind here at CBS News but we ate the candy before we remembered that.
I was a reporter with the Army Newspaper "The Stars and Stripes" during World War II. A Dutch man named Jan Hermans, who was a young boy when the paper was published near his hometown in the Netherlands, sent me a great collection of "The Stars and Stripes" that he's kept all these years. How old do you think it makes me feel to see my byline on a story during World War II?
Apex shoes. I said it was hard to get shoes that fit because my feet are so wide. They sent me a pair. Really nice shoes but they aren't wide enough.
I get a lot of books, including quite a few recently on religion alone. Some for it, some against it. The Book of Mormon. I must have eight Bibles and I've been sent three Korans. I've spent quite a bit of time reading both the Bible and the Koran. It's my opinion that one of them is better than the other.
Next time you think of sending me something, try to remember I probably already have one or don't want one.
By Andy Rooney