Survivor In Paradise

The hit Survivor series strands contestants on a deserted island where they compete against each other and the elements.

It makes you wonder: How would we do, marooned on a remote tropical island? CBS News Sunday Morning Correspondent Bill Geist made it his business to find out.

Here is our cast:

• Huel, a bellhop.
• Glen, a lifeguard.
• Tyrone, a calypso guitarist.
• Joe, a provider of pina coladas.
• Michael, a waiter.
• Melissa, a room service waitress.
• Bob, Kathy, Julie, Robbie, Pete, John, and Nadine, guests

But the similarities are striking. They have no fire to cook with, and neither do we. You have to find ways to cope.

Whether it's Borneo or the Bahamas, clothing is scant.

It's primitive. We're forced to eat and drink from coconut shells. You got to live off the land: coconuts, local rum.

For survivalists and vacationers, life revolves around food. You have to seek it out, in the wilds of the jungle or the sprawling corridors of a resort. Map-reading skills are critical in the wilderness of these vast resort complexes.

One must eat what is indigenous to the island. When rat meat is unavailable, you got to eat lobster.

On both islands, exhaustion is a constant concern, whether it is from gathering food or participating in a conga line.

Every week on the show, cast members gather at tribal council for the grim task of voting someone off the island.

They should lighten things up at tribal council - maybe serve rum drinks.

Here are some of the Paradise Island votes against me:

• Michael: "He left me a 4 percent tip."
• Kathy: "I think Bill cheated at shuffleboard."
• Glen: "He's not a strong swimmer."
• Huel: "He never did tip me."
• Tyrone: "He has no rhythm."
• Robbie: "Bill's gone. He needs to work on water aerobics."

For Survivor contestants and resort guests, it's tough to go. They didn't even let me stop at the gift shop.

And which island would you rather leave? Theirs or mine?