Saddam Hussein bit the dust last weekend, maybe you hadn't heard? He was a bad man who gassed his own people, oppressed a nation, and believed that he was chosen by God to rule. A nutty, bad man. But what I can't figure out is how an icky guy like that ever got a date, a wife or a mistress. And he had plenty of mistresses.
And speaking of bad men, word from the world of hideouts is that Osama Bin Laden, Evildoer No. 1, mastermind of the 9/11 attacks, the CIA's most wanted (and still breathing) terrorist, with a dialysis machine in tow, a possible case of typhoid (and you just know he's got a hairy back), has taken another wife. Wife no. 4, or 5. Osama Bin Laden! Forget the CIA. A really desperate single woman could pin down his location in a New York minute.
From Hitler's gal pal Eva Braun, to Charles Manson's chick posse, to Uganda's Idi Amin, who was survived by four wives and 45 children, the list of despicables with significant others goes on and on. Help me out, here. Isn't committing genocide a turn-off? Wouldn't murdering innocent people make a girl a little wary?
It's one thing to love to hate the pretend bad guys, like James Cagney and his lady in "The Public Enemy." Sweet. Or "The Sopranos," with Tony, the big gutted mob boss, and his loyal (if angry) wife plus lots of wiggle room. Bada bing! Back in the real world there's the legendary Henry VIII: six wives, some mistresses, a lousy attitude, and multiple decapitations. Standing by your man? An unfortunate choice.
Okay, so maybe some of these women didn't have much "say" in the matter. But, is "power" that much of an aphrodisiac to some of us? Or do these women see their men as "misunderstood?" I mean here we are, worrying about extra pounds and whiter teeth, leading respectable, non-murderous lives, and programmed to think there's a shortage of "available men" out there. Game over.
Women of the world, I beseech you: don't settle. Let the despots go dateless. We can do better than that.