Hey, Barack. Had much time to relax since the election? Judging from the headlines, youve been hard at work, selecting the people who will surround you for the next four years. So far, youve picked people you know and trust, like your campaigns communications director, Robert Gibbs, to be the White House press secretary, and fellow Chicagoan, U.S. Rep. Rahm Emanuel, to be your chief of staff.
We understand why youve been keeping close to home so far, but one of your upcoming appointments requires a level head and decisive leadership: the Obama family dog you promised your two daughters. We have some solid ideas, so dont forget which newspaper was the first in the nation to endorse you, OK?
You claimed in a speech this week that your older daughter, Malia, is allergic, so that presents a problem. Malia has suggested a goldendoodle a golden retriever-poodle mix. The Philippine Star reported that an 8-year-old girl wrote a letter to you suggesting a Coton de Tulear, a small dog named after a city in Madagascar. The American Kennel Club has suggested a poodle or a soft-coated wheaten terrier. The rest of the Internet has been abuzz with recommendations.
You also mentioned in your speech that you were in favor of getting a shelter dog, even though most dogs there are mutts like you. The Washington Animal Rescue League has suggested a dachshund from one of its shelters.
You should also keep in mind the past White House dogs.
Former Russian President Vladimir Putin criticized President Bushs choice in dogs, a Scottish terrier named Barney. Putin called his dog, a labrador, bigger, tougher, stronger, faster, meaner than Barney, which could have contributed to the sour turn of the world leaders friendship.
Mr. Obama, your choice in a family dog should reflect your promise, that America is ready to lead the world again. Thats why we, the Iowa State Daily Editorial Board, endorse the Mastiff as first presidential pet.
Not familiar with this one? Ask your kids if theyve seen The Sandlot specifically the big, scary dog behind the fence. These beasts can grow to weigh more than 200 pounds, and having one on the White House lawn would send a clear message to Americas enemies.
As a bonus, these fearsome canines were once bred to fight bears bears! Who better to stave off the greatest threat to America, as you called bears in your appearance on The Colbert Report this summer.
All were saying is, think about it. Your kids may be hesitant at first, but America needs to know where you stand. Otherwise, people may start accusing you of pallin around with bears.