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20 funny goodbye-Oprah tweets
"If you watch Oprah in reverse, it's about a woman who takes stuff away from crying people and feels so guilty, she loses weight over it."
"Oprah Winfrey is so powerful that she had the Rapture postponed until after her final show airs tomorrow."
Not on the guestlist
"I am never inviting Oprah to a party if this is how long she takes to leave."
"Oprah is God's gift to everyone. I'm shaping an Oprah shrine from mashed potatoes as we speak. Oooooo....praaaaaahhhhh. Oooooo....praaaahhh."
"Oprah is my hero & all. I wanna be like her but....I wanna get married & keep my figure... #imjustsayin"
Can I get a what?!
"For the final Oprah episode, I hear she lends out her ovaries and gives everyone a baby. YOU GET A BABY. AND YOU GET A BABY."
"I have to be honest. I can't stand Oprah."
A plea for Kathy Griffin
"I don't want @oprah to leave because I don't want @kathygriffin oprah jokes to EVER end."
Jesus on Oprah
"I will not be surprised if Jesus shows up on Oprahs last episode to tell how Oprah inspired him."
An Oprah challenge
"Idea to fix world hunger -- Olive Garden has 'unlimited breadsticks' for like five dollars. Your move, Oprah."
"Oh man. Oh man. I thought I recorded yesterday's Oprah show. But I didn't. I WANT TO PUKE"
"Is it rude to vacuum while Oprah is speaking?"
"If we find out that The Oprah Winfrey Show has all been a dream, I'm gonna be so pissed."
"For many women, today is #theRapture. #Oprah is taping last show EVER. Men all over the world are smiling. #OprahIsAnnoying"
"3 days left of oprah. I'm actually starting to freak out."
These are a few of my favorite things -- I think
"How will I know what my favorite things are??"
I admit it
"watching yesterdays oprah, her last week! Yes, I like oprah, don't judge me"
"Watched people on Oprah recounting all of the things they've learned from the show. Something's wrong with me because I've learned nothing."
"What if when the dust has cleaned&everything is back2normal,Oprah's real name is Opie and she's really a man&BornThisWay is national anthem"
Life after Oprah
"It's Oprah's last show tomorrow. Now your wife's going to have to go back to forming her own opinions"