Watch CBS News

World Cup: England's Inferiority Complex vs. Germany

Dave Utting stands in front of the Empress Pub in Cambridge, painted with slogans poking fun at the Germans ahead of England's World Cup clash with Germany on Sunday. Chris Radburn/PA via AP

In England, they joke about the war, German accents and Hitler.

In Germany, they joke about the fact that the English joke about the war, German accents and Hitler.

The Germans used to get offended. Now they look on in slightly patronizing bemusement as English newspapers trot out ethnic stereotypes about war, Aryan races and bombing, preparing their readers for yet another agony-filled elimination game against their old foe Sunday.

With the German team now being made up of Poles, Turks, a Spaniard, a Ghanaian, a Nigerian and even a Brazilian, it's harder for the English to make fine German-baiting jokes. The Daily Star tried, coming up with a demonizing World War II remembrance headline, "Mixed Master Race," to describe the composition of the German team.

And the Daily Express offered this deep literary analysis: "Our national poet (Shakespeare) wrote 38 plays and 154 sonnets. His German equivalent wrote 'Faust,' a gloomy two-part drama about a man who sells his soul to the devil, and a novel called 'The Sorrows of Young Werther.' . . . The latter sparked a craze of copycat suicides among romantic young men. Generations of pupils forced to study Goethe's work know how they felt."

Here's the real joke: The Germans don't really care.

No, of course they care about winning the World Cup. They're good at that sort of thing, having won it three times and being runners-up in another four championships.

It's just that they don't care about England in the same way that England cares about Germany.

England tries to demonize the Germans, while simultaneously losing to them in almost every important game in living memory (other than the 1966 World Cup final, in which a bizarrely myopic declaration by a strange assistant referee from Russia gave England a decisive goal).

Germany's natural enemy, especially in footballing terms, is Holland.

The Dutch fans still chant at the Germans that they want their bikes back, a reference to the Germans' fleeing Holland during World War II.

And Holland is, well, rather more talented football-wise than the English. The Germans have far more respect for the Dutch.

This doesn't stop the English from insisting that this will be war.

But please enjoy the Daily Mirror's historic "Why England and Germany REALLY hate each other," in which Professor Peter Beck explains, finally and very helpfully: "And although political relations are strong, perhaps the only way to engender a better Anglo-German relationship on the football field is if they let us win once in a while."

Rarely has a country offered so much of an inferiority complex as the English do when they face the Germans.

It shows more than ever when England has to take penalties. The Germans defeated in the English on penalties in the 1990 World Cup, when English blood ran hot, as its German equivalent was freezer temperature.

They repeated the pleasure in the 1996 European Championships.

Almost all the German teams to which the English have ceded their honor have been apogees of strength and efficiency. They gave nothing away. They stood their ground.

Yet this German incarnation is younger, more vibrant and, in so many ways, less stereotypically German. They have already missed a penalty in these World Cup finals. This would have been anathema for previous German teams.

When it comes to penalty kicks, England has often seemed as if it couldn't even decide who should take them.

For example, in the 1998 World Cup finals when England lost to Argentina on penalties, England coach Glenn Hoddle admitted they hadn't even practiced them in training. The penalty that knocked England out was taken by a player called David Batty, who had never taken a penalty in his life.

At this World Cup, German legend, Franz Beckenbauer has already accused the English of playing crude "kick and rush" football.

And it's hard not to think that, despite England having famous names like Wayne Rooney and Steven Gerrard, the Germans have a slight contempt for the English way of football.

The Germans believe that one cultured strike by the one true player of originality on either side, Mesut Ozil, will turn the game their way. But they say these things politely. They make charming comments about how they fear the English competitive spirit and admire their tea-making.

Still, this is just one game . . . one game in which anything can happen, and penalties probably will.


Chris Matyszczyk is an award-winning creative director who advises major corporations on content creation and marketing, and an avid sports fan. He is also the author of the popular CNET blog Technically Incorrect.

See also:

Full Coverage: World Cup 2010
Pictures: Opening Rounds of the World Cup

U.S. Aims to Create Miracle on Grass
U.S. Must Unleash "Gladiator" Hell
North Korea Coach Falls On His Sword
New Zealand Makes Lambs Out of Italy
Slovenia Small Guys Teach U.S. a Big Lesson
South Africa Falls to a Tragedy of Errors
Swiss Make Melted Cheese Out of Spain
North Korea Spooks Brazil
Paraguay Tries to Be Italy, Almost Beats Italy
World Cup: Germany and Ghana Buzz the U.S. Team
World Cup: U.S. Lets England Put Egg on Its Own Face

View CBS News In
CBS News App Open
Chrome Safari Continue
Be the first to know
Get browser notifications for breaking news, live events, and exclusive reporting.