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Prom Tips For Parents

The senior prom is a rite of passage for many American teen-agers, a wonderful party to celebrate the end of high school and the move into an adult world. But no matter how good the kids are, they will probably still be out most of the night with some peers who will have alcohol, who will drive while impaired, who will make drunken sexual advances.

Kate Kelly is a mother of three whose eldest daughter will be going to her senior prom in a few weeks. She also is the author of Complete Idiot's Guide To Parenting A Teenager. In the latest CBS News This Morning "Parental Guidance" segment, she shares some tips from her book.


Schools and parents have come up with all sorts of ways to make proms safer. Some schools set up all-night alcohol-free activities, or have breathalyzers handy to test kids at the ballroom door. Some parents rent hotel rooms and limousines so kids don't drink and drive, or even serve alcohol to the kids at home so they won't go out and get into trouble.

According to the experts, some ideas aren't very good. Serving alcohol at home on prom night is not only a bad idea, it's against the law. Hiring transportation, on the other hand, or just being available to pick your kid up from anywhere, no questions asked, are good ideas.

Of course, parents should be talking to their teens about alcohol and sex years before senior prom night. But as the prom approaches there are things a parent can do to lower the odds that something bad will happen.

Here are some of Kate Kelly's tips for parents:

Get involved with your teen's preparations for the prom.

Include yourself in their shopping plans. It's fun to go shopping with your daughter to buy her dress. You don't need to blow the family budget, and it's probably a good idea not to because scaling down expectations puts the prom in perspective for your teen.

Most importantly, let your teen set the excitement level. Many parents go overboard remembering their own senior proms, and kids feel they have to have a real "blow-out" to be sure they have some great memories, too.

Scope out the prom and post-prom plans.

  • Especially find out about last year's prom. The kind of prom you have to worry about is the "10 minute prom," where kids show up at the official event for 10 minutes and then leave to do their own partying. If proms have been going that way, after-prom activities should be planned.
  • One school rented a boat to take a midnight tour along a river, another had an after-school party in an interactive science museum. Another brought in a temporary theme park. Whatever is planned, make it something that most of the kids will plan to go to; it's safest when there are a lot of kids involved. It's when they split up into small groups that the trouble starts.

Arrange for transportation
  • Get a limo or a van so lots of kids can travel around together. If they use cas, find a driver, perhaps a cousin or an older sibling who is "cooler" than a parent yet not a party participant.
  • Renting a hotel room is controversial, and most experts see it as a bad idea. While it keeps kids off the road, they are in smaller groups in hotel rooms and the danger of date rape and property damage is much higher.
  • Don't give them your credit card.

Have a final conversation with your teen about alcohol and sex.
  • It's too late to bring it up for the first time on prom night, but that is the time to remind them of some of the unpleasant aspects of drinking, like vomiting on your beautiful dress or rented tux.
  • Be firm. It's the parents' place to set limits, even if a kid is 18, and be vigilant. Most kids take a backpack along with a change of clothes for later in the evening. Check its contents. You won't be the first to find a six pack of beer in a kid's backpack.

Finally, offer your home as a final destination.
  • Offer breakfast even if it's 4 a.m. If your kids are planning to make a night of it, you probably won't get much sleep anyway. This way, you'll have them under your eye, and can judge which kids are in a state to go home on their own.

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