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More Real-Life Sales Managers from Hell

Earlier this month, I posted a gallery of Real Life Sales Managers from Hell. In that post, I asked Sales Machine readers to send me more examples of the hellish breed. And you didn't disappoint me.

This post contains even some sales managers who make the ones in my original list look like sweethearts. As before, I've provided some polls so that you can vote on their relative hellishness.

And the final manager in this gallery is (of course) the proverbial doozy.

READERS: EMAIL ME YOUR "MANAGER FROM HELL" STORY and I'll add it to this gallery!

CLICK HERE for the first sales manager from hell »

The Lord of The Manor

Our sales manager thought it was his right to 'bed' every female staff member. His conversations were always full of double meanings and smutty comments that he thought were extremely witty, but in reality were just boring. He was a nightmare at our annual conference harassing any female in sight. The problems really began when I began a relationship with a female co-worker, he became obsessed with our relationship and eventually engineered me out of my role. My partner left soon after. (Contributed by Villeroy)


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The Cougar
My sales manager came with me to an important meeting, to discuss logistics with a key decision maker. She decided not to let facts get in the way of her micro-mini, her giggling and her hair flicking, despite the fact I gave her this customer's background as an ICU nurse and pastor of a church! After we left, the customer asked that I NEVER bring her back. (Contributed by jenhall)

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The Poet
After several weeks of "management by shouting", calling at 10:30PM to interrogate me in order to cover his ass, etc., he called me into his office. As I was waiting, I saw his open portfolio. In plain view, was a set of verse. Curious, I looked down and to my horror, realized it was about a soldier and victim at the entrance to the gas chamber, who's eyes meet the victim's going in, a smile, a smirk and the person passes in. I was frozen in disgust, fear and the unmistakable urge to grab it and run to a copy machine to have evidence. Just then he strode in, saw that I read it walked up casually and closed it, no comment. I felt like the victim in the verse. (Contributed via email.)

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The Public Critic
The worst thing my sales manager did was to encourage a client to make a formal complaint against me. I can remember the morning he advised me of the complaint. He waited until me and my colleagues were gathered in a huddle around the coffee machine, he then approached us with the unopened letter laughing that he was holding a letter of complaint about me. He then gleefully opened the letter and did not even read the contents. He simply boasted that it was a letter of complaint and then made a point of advising everybody as to how he was keeping a file and recording any and all of my misdeeds. Despite the pressure he placed on me it made little difference, I just continued to be successful until I decided to resign and moved to a better position. (Contributed via email.)

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The Privileged Son
I worked for a man whose father owned the company. In Daddy's eyes, Sonny could do no wrong and sonny knew it. Sonny lied to his employees and customers on a regular basis, and seemed to take great pride in dishonest dealings, including cheating his sales staff out of their comissions. Routinely, we were greeted with "What the F*** are you still doing here?...You guys don't know how to sell...I should fire all of you." Another company recruited me, and within a couple of days I turned in my 2-day notice. He was actually stunned that I would want to leave! (Contributed by Longjohn.)

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The Toady
My sales manager was simply terrified of the senior partners. It didn't matter what actually happened during the quarter. He'd spend days massaging the data, or even making up data, in order to look as if our team was doing great and about to close all sorts of business. What was funny about the entire situation is that, due to decisions that the senior partners had made, we didn't have anything to sell that anybody wanted to buy. But rather than pointing that out, this guy kept feeding them BS... until the entire company went out of business. (Contributed via email.)
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The Ostrich
Our sales manager is not accessible for anything. There is no way to obtain any real answers from anyone in the organization. As his phone is closely monitored by the phone police, we can't get through and messages aren't returned. Emails go without answer for emergency deal negotiation. During sales meetings all sales people are berated for inadequate productivity. He doesn't name anyone, says "You know who you are." He threatens our commission structure if impossible targets are not met. (Contributed by email.)

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Lil' Napoleon
My sales manager was about 5'2" and overweight. He clearly had some problems with his height, because all the people who worked with him were tall (6' plus) and thin. During his weekly meeting, he'd pick one of these guys out and tear him a new one, publicly telling him what how stupid he was and how he'd never amount to anything. One time he did it when we were stuck in a private plane, five guys crammed into a space the size of a closet, with this guy screaming his head off for the better part of two hours. (Contributed via email.)

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The Exhibitionist Redux
My boss could not decide whether he wanted to be our 'leader' or 'one of the boys'. After subjecting me to a session of inspirational talk, he asked for my opinion about something. He proceeded to pull down his pants to diagnose what looked like a nasty, weeping boil on his butt. I later found out he'd been ambushing staff all through the office to check out his boil... in the kitchen, mens room, stock room, the hallway! (Contributed via email.)
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