Julie Roehm, Walmart's Psycho Ex-Girlfriend, Wants to Be Your "Regal Warrior Guru"

Last Updated Jan 16, 2011 6:46 PM EST

Julie Roehm, the bad girl of brand management who was fired from Walmart (WMT) because she gave a lapdance to the new business chief of ad agency DraftFCB now has a wonderfully delusional web site on which she compares herself to Tolstoy, James Joyce, Walt Whitman, Bobbie Fischer, Edith Sitwell, Dr. Suess, Secretariat and Man O' War.

In a "profile interview" promoting her marketing consultancy written by the former senior editorial director of Hallmark Business Expressions, Roehm is described with these words:

Fearless, resilient, dynamic, unruly, daring, powerful, charismatic, visionary, a catalyst for change, the best at what she does, legendary, courageous, brave, in command, fierce focus, remarkable intelligence, tall and regal, a warrior, guru-like, unafraid of controversy, intrepid, infinitely calculating, savvy, respected, patient with stupidity, successful, a rare breed, new media chess master, an alchemist, ahead of the trend, passionate, rainmaker, delightful, surprising, gravitas, unforgettable.
Although Roehm hasn't worked as a brand manager since she was ousted from Walmart in 2006, she remains a source of fascination within the ad business. Few are the women who have been the top ad execs at both Walmart and Chrysler. Fewer still have done it while pregnant, wearing leather pants, and tossing around a mane of blonde hair that ought to be in its own shampoo commercial. It's sexist, but Roehm is basically advertising's psycho ex-girlfriend -- the train wreck you'll never forget.

"Fearlessness is like a muscle"

Her personal motto, according to the site, is: "fearlessness is like a muscle." One might argue that fearlessness is actually a neurological condition that makes a person extremely poor at judging risks. That might explain a few of the things on the site, including the idea that Roehm is a regal warrior guru new media chessmaster alchemist who is an expert in "homologation" and believes that "innovation is the new black."

The site actually mentions her disastrous tenure at Walmart -- in addition to sitting in the DraftFCB exec's lap, she awarded his ad agency Walmart's $570 million ad account, accepted a case of vodka and other gifts, and had an affair -- albeit only obliquely. Roehm is quoted as saying:

"I'd be worried if people didn't talk about me, because it would mean I stopped doing the bold and visionary thing that needs to be done, that no one else has the courage to do."
The first part of that sentence tells you all you need to know about the Roehm worldview. For all the scorn she's had to put up with -- much of it deserved, some of it merely because she's female -- Roehm just can't imagine getting her head down, working hard and rebuilding her credibility without the aid of a self-directed spotlight.


Image: model's own.
Hat tip to George Parker.