Live

Watch CBSN Live

Five Truly Heinous Elevator Pitches

Almost every sales organization trains its sales folk to use some kind of "elevator pitch" which is supposed to "hook" a prospect in a few seconds. A good elevator pitch has to be crisp, pertinent, energetic and focused. Unfortunately, that's advice that's usually honored in the breach. Most elevator pitches are truly awful, even from companies that are otherwise savvy.

This post contains five truly dreadful elevator pitches which, incredibly, somebody felt were memorable enough to post on YouTube. There are probably worse ones out there, somewhere, but after reviewing several dozen of these beasties, I couldn't find any. So, enjoy the train wrecks....

Click here for the first terrible elevator pitch»
ESSENTIAL POST:

DREADFUL PITCH #1: CURL, Inc.

Why It's So Bad: An effective elevator pitch requires congruence between what's being offered and the appearance and image of the company and the spokesperson. This pitch is intended to interest executives as large enterprises, but the pitchman is scruffy and the products (e.g. "widgets") sound small-time.

Click here for the next terrible elevator pitch»

DREADFUL PITCH #2: toksta.com

Why It's So Bad: An effective elevator pitch doesn't describe what your firm or its offering do, but the impact it will have on the customer. This bland offering is just a list of features and a description of how they're integrated (whatever that means).

Click here for the next terrible elevator pitch»

DREADFUL PITCH #3: Evernote

Why It's So Bad: An effective elevator pitch doesn't try to communicate too much information. This pitch tries to explain everything that the product does, all the platforms that it supports, and all sorts of irrelevant yada-yada-yada.

Click here for the next terrible elevator pitch»

DREADFUL PITCH #4: Networking for Professionals.com


Why It's So Bad: While an effective elevator speech can't communicate too much, it also can't communicate too little. This example pends the first half providing the guy's name (three times) and then repeats a set of generic services. Just who I want to hire...an inarticulate lawyer.

Click here for the final terrible elevator pitch»

DREADFUL PITCH #5: Atlassian

Why It's So Bad: An effective elevator pitch is about the customer, not about how cute you can be. In this truly horrible example, the guy tries so hard to be funny and engaging that you pretty much want to slap him up the side of the head.

ESSENTIAL POST: