Harvard coach Tim Murphy has been inundated by the media and Yale week is still months away. The subject: A junior varsity quarterback from 2005 who never saw the field for the Crimson.

"I've gotten a few calls," Murphy said.

Andrew Hatch's 'experience' might be the deciding factor for Les Miles. (US Presswire)

Actually, there isn't much choice for LSU coach Les Miles, who had withheld the name of his starter against Appalachian State at least through Friday. Andrew Hatch has the most "experience" among his quarterbacks -- two passes in mop-up duty last season.

What seems like a Mickey Rooney-Judy Garland movie from the 1940s (A Harvard Man in Dixie) is reality. If Hatch doesn't start, the sophomore will at least play -- a lot. His competition is redshirt freshman Jarrett Lee and true freshman Jordan Jefferson. Neither has played a snap.

"What people have to understand down in LSU is that the kid (Hatch) has never taken any legitimate snaps in a varsity game," Murphy said. "They've got to cut him a little bit of slack."

Doubtful at LSU, where it's all about the W's. Tiger baiters aren't going to let a little thing like quarterback slow their expectations. Excluding that position, the Tigers are solid-to-loaded at every other spot. Plus, it has won two national championships this decade with less-than-athletic quarterbacks (Matt Mauck and Matt Flynn).

Ryan Perrilloux was kicked off the team in the offseason, meaning the best quarterback on the field Saturday will likely be Appalachian State's Armanti Edwards. LSU fans are expecting the same walkover that Michigan fans did last season. But the Mountaineers aren't coming over to get a paycheck. The three-time defending I-AA national champions believe they can win, especially against an inexperienced quarterback.

"He's not going to embarrass himself," Murphy said of Hatch. "Like anything else, it's going to be different when they turn those lights on."

The entire Tiger Nation, then, can't wait for an answer to the ultimate question: Did Harvard have a I-A quarterback or does LSU have a Harvard J.V. quarterback?

"That's a fair question," said Murphy, who oversees the non-scholarship I-AA program.

"We've had a pretty good culture of evaluating and recruiting and developing quarterbacks. We probably don't have the wideouts, cornerbacks and running backs they have in the SEC, but we've had some really good quarterbacks. When Andrew was here, he was among some really good kids. We felt like he could be a I-A quarterback."

Harvard has had two quarterbacks play in the Hula Bowl all-star game since 2002. In 2005, Ryan Fitzpatrick was the first Ivy League quarterback to be drafted since 1984. He is currently a backup with the Cincinnati Bengals. Murphy said Neil Rose (2003) had an NFL free-agent offer but chose to enter private business where -- with a Harvard degree -- he could probably make more money. Current starter Chris Pizzotti is also a pro prospect.

Where does that leave Hatch? On the hot seat, no doubt. Miles has promised that at least Lee and Hatch will play. But Lee missed four practices and a scrimmage with back spasms. Jefferson is even more raw, having come directly from Destrehan (La.) High School.

"The team understands we have three talented guys," Miles said ambiguously, "and all three will probably play."

Perrilloux is ultimately to blame for this predicament. Miles deserves credit for finally cutting his losses, knowing that the 2008 season could be in the balance without an experienced quarterback.

Hatch's circuitous route to Baton Rouge started in Las Vegas, where he starred at Cimarron-Memorial High. BYU offered a scholarship, but Hatch decided to go to Harvard after BYU fired Gary Crowton. After that one season in Cambridge, Hatch went on a Mormon mission to Chile. A knee injury cut it short. Crowton, then the new offensive coordinator at LSU, got Hatch to come to LSU. When Perrilloux was suspended in May 2007, Hatch walked on and eventually got a scholarship.

"We knew as a Mormon kid he was going to go on a two-year mission after his freshman year," Murphy said. "He calls me from South America and says, 'You're not going to believe it but LSU just offered me a scholarship.' I put two and two together because Gary had gone there as a coordinator.

"He said, 'What should I do? I really like what I'm doing at Harvard but this is something I'd really like to take a shot at.'"

The communications studies major will end up on his feet. Let's say everything goes to pot and the football thing doesn't work out for Hatch. This is the SEC, you know. Pretenders need not apply.

"Harvard has a pretty liberal policy about coming back here and getting a degree," Murphy said.

Scouting the nation

Guarantee checks! Get your guarantee check here! Wow, you would think the networks could do better than two games featuring ranked teams in the opening weekend (Alabama-Clemson, Missouri-Illinois).

Elvis his own self: WWL is big on left tackles. Loved the book The Blind Side. Did a story looking at the position in May.

That's why we're interested in seeing how Elvis enters the building Saturday at the Edward Jones Dome. Elvis Fisher is Missouri's redshirt freshman left tackle who is getting his first career start against a fairly stout Illinois defense Saturday. More to the point, the 6-foot-5, 295-pounder will be protecting Chase Daniel's blindside.

The Illini will be looking for the kill shot on the Heisman finalist. But first they have to reach him. If Fisher is jittery in his first start, Daniel isn't as productive, and if that happens that magic Mizzou season could go kaput before it gets started.

Luxury sled alert: Vic Koenning could diffuse this Julio Jones-B.J. Scott thing easily Saturday night. Clemson's defensive coordinator should arrive at the Georgia Dome in a Navigator.

Yes, that was Koenning basically accusing someone of (wink, wink) cheating to get the two Alabama blue-chip recruits. Koenning says he was joking. That must be why he concluded his remarks this week by saying, "That's serious."

The comforting thing is that no one from Alabama is upset in the least.

Clemson on the clock: Seriously, if Clemson doesn't handle 'Bama rather easily, what does it say about the Tigers? The best (allegedly) in the ACC can't handle a midlevel SEC team.

The Velvet Hammer: Jim Tressel came as close to dissing an opponent as WWL has seen. Usually, the Ol' Yawn Coach could find something nice to say about a case of lice. This time he's practically shoving it in the face of his old employer, Youngstown State, and its coach Jon Heacock.

Tres says he hopes that all three of his quarterbacks get to play in the first half. Youngstown State is a pushover, but a pushover with ties to Tressel (its former coach) and defensive coordinator Jim Heacock (brother of Jon).

Nothing gets in the way when that third-string guy is Terrelle Pryor, the nation's No. 1 recruit. Even Tressel can't wait to see him play.

Southern California will beat Virginia: That's not what this is about. WWL wants to see USC's receivers beat anyone. The loss of tight end Fred Davis to the pros and the lack of a go-to wideout for Mark Sanchez make it imperative the Virginia game be used as a glorified scrimmage to develop that depth.

USC O.C. Steve Sarkisian needs to develop some consistent pass catchers, not just a bunch of guys who are all-hotel lobby. Mike Williams and Dwayne Jarrett are distant memories.

The man who dies (his hair) with the most toys, wins: In case you missed it, the race goes on with Bobby Bowden leading Joe Paterno by one (373-372) on the all-time victories list. JoePa will likely tie Bowden after beating Coastal Carolina on Saturday. Florida State doesn't open until next week.

"Oh, who cares?" Paterno asked. "When they bury me, are they going to put on my gravestone, 'You were one win ahead of Bobby Bowden'?"

Not if Papa Bowden is still above ground.

Trash talk: Howard Schnellenberger added a little spice to the glut of body-bag games this weekend. Florida Atlantic is a 24-point underdog at Texas. Expect the 'Horns to cover the number in the first quarter.

The Florida Atlantic student paper quoted the 74-year-old coach a few days ago as saying Texas, "has great talent, but they aren't tough, they aren't a physically tough team."

While WWL admires Schnellenberger for his candor, even this seems out of character for him. Especially when there is a slaughter waiting in Austin. The coach says he was misquoted. Don't be surprised if Texas offensive coordinator Greg Davis says he was "mis-coaching" in calling passes in the fourth quarter of a 59-10 rout.

Where a colt is back to being a horse: Hawaii doesn't have a quarterback starter, at least not officially, heading to Florida, which you can assume is bad news. New coach Greg McMackin said this week that naming a starter for Florida could be a game-time decision. Sophomore Brent Rausch seemingly had the job wrapped up in mid-August but has been bothered by tightness in his throwing arm. The other option is junior Greg Alexander.

One of those guys will be replacing a Mr. Colt Brennan.

Why is Tennessee going to the West Coast for the second consecutive year? There is exactly one player from the state on the Rivals.com Top 100 for 2009. It's all about exposure, even if it ends up like last season's 45-31 loss to what turned out to be a mediocre Cal.

Look for more after Labor Day's trip to UCLA. Tennessee has series scheduled with Oregon, North Carolina, Oklahoma and Ohio State in the next 11 years.

The wonders of Photoshop: That ad in the L.A. Times featuring Rick Neuheisel lasted about a day until some USC fan got hold of it.

"The Football Monopoly in Los Angeles Is Officially Over" quickly turned into "The Football Monopoly in Los Angeles Is Officially Over There." In the ad, Neuheisel is pointing off into the distance. In the doctored version that went out on the WWW, it is implied that Rick is pointing toward USC.

Short on Long replacements: His name is Alex Field. If you know him better after Saturday night, that would be a good thing.

The 270-pound defensive end is replacing consensus All-American Chris Long at Virginia. Until Field gets on the field against USC, that will be his claim to fame. Of course, "replacing" is a loaded word when you're suddenly considered one of the key cogs in a 3-4 defense tasked with stopping the Trojans.

"He's got big shoes and it's a lot of pressure," Field said.

The Cavaliers go into the game missing both defensive ends. Long and Jeffrey Fitzgerald were arguably the best pair of rushers in the ACC. They combined for 152 tackles and 21 sacks. Long is in the NFL with the Rams. Fitzgerald has transferred to Kansas State.

Not to slight the little guy: Western Kentucky is trying to make history as it transitions this year to Division I-A. Since 1987, only three of 18 teams making their debut in I-A have won their opener. The last was Florida International beating Youngstown State 22-16 in 2004. Western Kentucky opens the season at Indiana.

Only one first-year I-A program has beaten another I-A in a season opener during that time. That would be Louisiana Tech defeating Louisiana-Lafayette in 1989. The Hilltoppers are considered one of the 120 I-A programs listed by the NCAA but are not eligible for a bowl or the Sun Belt title. They will be next year.

If any of this makes your head hurt, take it up with the NCAA. They made the rules. WWL only makes fun of them.