NEW ORLEANS -- If Dwight Howard can't win a dunk contest, the terrorists win.

But seriously, let's all calm down about his voracious dunks during Saturday's dunk competition. He's freaking 7 feet. He should win. That's like giving Gary Coleman props for being short.

Howard's Superman slam is the signature dunk of the night. (Getty Images)

Spud Webb ... now he's a dunker. When men were men and dunkers, even the tiny ones, didn't use ladders. Spud Webb ... the Abraham Lincoln of dunkers.

And the whole blowing out the candle thing by Gerald Green? Ho hum. Yeah. Sure. Whatever. Michael Jordan jumped so high he would have blown out a candle on Sputnik.

Besides, if you put a slice of pepperoni pizza and some chicken wings on the rim instead of a cupcake, Shaquille O'Neal would have won the dunk contest.

Overall, the dunk contest now sucks.

It's come down to props like cupcakes. The dunk contest doesn't excite me; it makes me hungry. What's next? Emeril cooks an omelet while someone jams?

The contest used to be so delicious.

Where have all the great dunkers gone?

No, the dunk contest isn't all bad (and it still blows away baseball's home run derby). When Howard put on a Superman outfit complete with a cape, well, that was kinda' funny.

Even with his big 7-foot ass.

The problem with the dunk contest is we've seen the best: Michael Jordan, Vince Carter, Dominique Wilkins, Spud Webb, David Thompson, Harold Miner, Clyde Drexler and Julius Erving. When you see that kind of talent and then see the scrubs in this dunk competition, well, it's like going from Halle Berry to Grace Jones.

The dunk contest could be great. It could be one of the top three events in all of sports. The problem remains -- and it has been this way for years -- the best dunkers don't participate.

Imagine a dunk contest with Ko-Me Bryant, Dwyane Wade, LeBron James, Carter (all he can do now is dunk anyway) and Tracy McGrady. Why can't we see James leap over John Daly's belly or Carter jump Little Richard and his piano?

James or Bryant would obliterate this year's dunkers, totally embarrass them.

The dunk contest has become high on gimmicks and low on athleticism. Great dunkers overwhelm your senses with power and strength, not cupcakes.

The best dunk of the night was when Green put the ball through his legs and slammed it. That's how you do it.

Still hate a 7-footer dunking. There should be a height penalty.

Congratulations, Dwight. You won. You're Superman.

You're the champion of the lame slam dunk competition.

Is Jordan too old to come back?

Just asking.