CBS News/ September 22, 2011, 9:51 AM

Mom to bury bullied son in Lady Gaga lyric shirt

A few weeks after posting a plea for help online, 14-year-old Jamey Rodemeyer took his own life.

A few weeks after posting a plea for help online, 14-year-old Jamey Rodemeyer took his own life. / CBS

The Department of Education this week is holding its second summit on combating bullying. It's a nationwide problem that was painfully highlighted this week in western New York State by the suicide of a high school freshman.

CBS News correspondent Elaine Quijano reports that 14-year-old Jamey Rodemeyer, of Buffalo, had been bullied relentlessly since the fifth grade. In May, he posted a video for the "It Gets Better" Project, in which he said he found comfort in an online support group for gay teens. In the video, he says, "I have so much support from people I don't even know online. I know that sounds creepy, but they're so nice and caring and they don't ever want me to die."

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But Sunday, Jamey's parents, Tim and Tracy Rodemeyer, found his body outside their home.

Tracy Rodemeyer told CBS News, "All the girls just loved him and they always defended him, but all the boys would say, 'Geez, you're such a girl. Why are you hanging out with all those girls? What are you, a girl? Oh, you must be gay.'"

He was harassed by online insults. He saw counselors to try to deal with the pain.

Back in May, he had hope, inspired by singer Lady Gaga and her message of tolerance. He said in a video, "Hold your head up and you'll go far. Because that's all you have to do, just love yourself and you're set."

But just weeks ago, that optimism seemed gone. He posted an online plea for help that said, "I always say how bullied I am, but no one listens. What do I have to do so people will listen to me?"

As word of his suicide spread, Lady Gaga tweeted: "I have so much anger. It is hard to feel love when cruelty takes someone's life."

Tracy Rodemeyer said, "For a young kid of 14 and a half, he had a big message, a huge message, that shouldn't even have to be a message. It should just be common decency to not make people feel worthless and useless on this planet."

Tracy Rodemeyer told CBS News she will bury her son Saturday in a Lady Gaga t-shirt. it reads "Born This Way."

On "The Early Show," Dan Savage, co-founder of the "It Gets Better" Project, explained the idea behind the project is for adults who had been through bullying themselves and who understood to share their stories and their joyous adult lives.

He said, "They are with these kids to give them an idea of the future that was possible for them if they could hang on. But sometimes hope isn't enough, and sometimes the future is too remote, and sometimes the bullying is too devastating and too extreme and those times, they just -- they break our hearts. But in his pain, you know, I don't think when you watch Jamey's 'It Gets Better' video, he is clearly speaking to other kids, trying to offer them encouragement, but he is also clearly, now, we know, speaking to himself and trying to encourage himself to hang in there."

Savage continued, "But even in his pain, he was reaching out and trying to help, and we need to follow his example and continue to reach out and try to help and not let Jamey's tragic death make us feel hopeless or despair or give up."

Savage encourages youth to make videos and talk to each other.

He added, "One of the things people need to know is, if a child is saying the bullying is so extreme - as extreme as the bullying that Jamey endured - we need to change the circumstances."

On the "It Gets Better" Project website, Savage said youths talk about how they can get their GED, begin home schooling or switch schools.

He said, "It can seem like you're handing the bullies a victory when you pull a queer kid out of school where he's being harassed. But that's sometimes what you need to do."

For more information about the "It Gets Better" Project, check out their website.

© 2011 CBS Interactive Inc. All Rights Reserved.
12 Comments Add a Comment
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jay023 says:
When I first heard this story- I was very enraged. Bullying needs to STOP!! It's the innocent bystandards that always get hurt the worst. I think every bullied and depressed person, whether a 14 year old to a 50 year old- must love life, and live each day with the fullest potential.
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Born_This_Way says:
Im sorry but being bullied because your gay is more traumatic than fat. Sensitive boy, they are always in need of protection. The truth is those bullies get away and then they grow up to be Pastor's, fathers and politicians. That is when the true test of fate begins. He had to little expirience in life to understand that most the time the person that's first in line to tease you is in your later years after the seek counseling and accept themselves (if that ever happens) the first in line to kiss you! Self hate doing the str8 mans biding. He had so much to learn about life and how to handle his emotions. How to accept his vulnerabilities. Gays brought up by heterosexuals naturally lack self identifying romodels. I hope the pain brought upon this mother teachers her to open her eyes and realise that kids who are gay are targets. They need other gay kids to relate to, not just online friends. Gurls yes they are wonderful but indeed not the same as another gay male. Survival depends on the community.
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CadyR says:
As I read this story, I began to feel enraged with the reactions that Jamey got when he reached out for help. Over and over again, we tell victims of bullying to tell someone, so that they can help you take the proper steps to dealing with the bullying & bullies, but what happens when no one listens? A young child commits suicide, a young life is lost forever. It's sad and quite frankly, pathetic that bullying has gotten this outrageous. We need to stop educating and start doing. New rules need to be put in place for people who seem to find joy in harassing and ruining other people's lives. One comment I would like to address, was one made by an individual that blamed the victims for being bullied. They believed that turning off your computer or deleting your account on certain websites will cease the bullying. However, I completely disagree. The bully's objective is to make the victim feel helpless with no where to turn, therefore, I believe even if accounts are deleted, the bully will begin to branch out. Regardless of if the victim has access to the origin of the cyber- bullying, the bullying will not stop. Many cases, the bully is someone the victim knows and generally goes to school with, therefore causing the bullying to not only occur outside of school but also on campus. This brings me to my next point.... the severity of the issue. Back in the day, when children were bullied at school, they would be able to come home and escape the bully's taunting methods, however with today's technology, the victim is never safe. With the aide of social networks and instant messaging, the bully is able to reach their victim from afar. This is one of the biggest reasons why cyber- bullying has resulted in suicide. The feeling of helplessness is increased because the victim has no where to turn. Like I said earlier, instead of just educating, we need actions and we need punishment. Let's stop letting these bullies think they can get away with whatever.
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dkb218 says:
I don't agree with your lifesytle [who cares, right?] but please stop killing yourselves. Love your life. Damn what others think of you! It was known before the Earth was made, what you would be. Be it.
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KLS322 says:
It is so sad to hear of this latest incident of suicide due to bullying. My prayers go out to this family. People need t understand that this is NOT just a gay/lesbian issue. My daughter has suffered horrible bullying and is a gorgeaous outgoing straight girl. She made a terrible mistake and sent a topless pic to a boy who supposedly "LOVED" her and it got disseminated to every school in our town and beyond. It was a stupid thing to do no doubt. Facebook, texts, bullying at school. It has been horrible. She graduated this year but still gets harassing facebook comments and texts. She has wanted to die and barely made it through school - it was a miracle really that she did. This problem is everywhere and includes all kinds of kids, gay, straight, skinny, fat, short, tall, people who make mistakes - it's not just harmless ribbing anymore. It is there 24/7 for these kids - they cannot escape it - even if they move or change schools etc. Something has to be done.
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larlinc says:
A young life filled with promise and now sadly gone. What is it with the cruelty of young people? I remember going to Catholic grade school and woe to ANYONE who laughed or picked on someone. The nuns would be at your desk in a flash with ruler or what else was handy. How are children so young practiced in such cruelty?? Do they hear negative comments from parents?
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CharismaticKid says:
I wish wish wish wish I could have helped this kid. If I was there for him, this wouldn't have happened.

This is why I want to change the world with my company. Stopping bullying has nothing to do with the school systems. THERE WILL ALWAYS BE BULLIES.

The change has to be in the kid getting bullied. Teaching the parents to raise confident, passionate kids.

I am going to prevent this from happening for now on.
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talis4 says:
pak31, you are clearly a blithering moron. You should probably turn off the fox "news" and venture out of your bubble. From the article it is clear that this boy did everything in his power to get these vermin to stop bullying him. I have taught at the high school level, and I can assure you that a teacher (any teacher) can make a difference. Where were they? He made them aware of the problem, yet it continued. I'd like to know what action is being taken against the vermin who caused this travesty. Further, the inaction by the school makes them complicit in the behavior.
I believe that pak's 2nd last sentence makes things perfectly clear:
"If I had a family that loves me..."
Judging by your astoundingly ignorant post, I suspect they don't.
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scottpatrick1234 says:
The child had very little chance being raised in such a dysfunctional family.
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pak31 says:
This boy had obvious underlying issues. He had so many supporters, girlfriends who loved him, parents etc. So why did he let the online bullies get to him? It's not like he was completely alone or that it was him against everyone else. His parents are so upset at the bullies, which they should be, but (and I hate to assume since I don't live with them) it seems like they could have done more for their son. She just says she prayed for him, that he was picked on by boys, etc. If he was beat up on line and he couldn't handle it, why was he allowed to have all these accounts? I would NOT allow my child access to those sites if they are part of the problem. I am just wondering how much was done to help him and his self esteem. You can't always control the bully, you have to make the child being attacked understand that what these bullies say is said because of the bullies insecurities NOT with the child. If I have a family that loves me, friends that love me and I have hope for the future, I certainly wouldn't let something that people who don't even know me get under my skin. It's a combination of that plus him confused about himself. I truly believe that. A confident person wouldn't kill themselves.
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heartfelt44 replies:
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I just recently had to remove my 11 year lod daughter from one school & put her in another because of the kids " bullying her. She is a very confident & self secure child, in ALL areas. Don't you think when some one has more than 1 or 2 people "BULLYING" ONE PERSON that it would wear on them?So wether some one has underllying issues or not IT'S UNCALLED FOR & SHOULD NOT BE OVERLOKKED FROM ANYONE.
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