Poll: U.S. remains divided on gay marriage

Clyde Phillips-Frey, left hand, and Nathan Phillips-Frey, right hand, pose for photos after being married in a group same-sex marriage in Niagara Falls, N.Y., July 25, 2011. / AP

WASHINGTON - Barbara Von Aspern loves her daughter, "thinks the world" of the person her daughter intends to marry and believes the pair should have the same legal rights as anyone else. It pains her, but Von Aspern is going to skip their wedding. Her daughter, Von Aspern explains, is marrying another woman.

"We love them to death, and we love them without being judgmental," the 62-year-old Chandler, Ariz., retiree said. "But the actual marriage I cannot agree with."

It's complicated, this question of legitimizing gay marriage. Americans are grappling with it from their homes to the halls of government in the shadow of a presidential election next year. The ambivalence is reflected in a new poll that shows the nation is passionate, conflicted and narrowly split on same-sex marriage.

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Fifty-three percent of the 1,000 adults surveyed believe the government should give legal recognition to marriages between couples of the same sex, about the same as last year, according to the nationwide telephone poll by The Associated Press and the National Constitution Center. Forty-four percent were opposed.

People are similarly conflicted over what, if anything, the government should do about the issue.

Support for legal recognition of same-sex marriage has shifted in recent years, from a narrow majority opposed in 2009 to narrow majority support now. Some of the shift stems from a generational divide, with the new poll showing a majority of Americans under age 65 in favor of legal recognition for same-sex marriages, and a majority of seniors opposed.

In some places, government has moved ahead while the nation debates. New York in July became the sixth state, along with the District of Columbia, to legalize same-sex marriage. Still, the issue played a part in the special election Tuesday to replace disgraced former Rep. Anthony Weiner, D-N.Y. Democrat David Weprin's support for gay marriage cost him support among the district's Orthodox Jews, and he lost to Republican Bob Turner.

Also Tuesday, lawmakers in North Carolina, the only state in the Southeast that does not have language in its constitution banning gay marriage, voted to put the question on the 2012 ballot. Most Americans who live in states where gay marriage is not already legal say it is unlikely their state will pass such a law; just 20 percent think it is likely to become law in their state.

Americans also are conflicted on how to go about legalizing or outlawing gay marriage.

One option is banning gay marriage by constitutional amendment. About half of the poll's respondents, 48 percent, said they would favor such an amendment defining marriage as between a man and a woman. Most who feel this way do so intensely. About 40 percent would strongly favor such a change. Forty-three percent said they would oppose such an amendment, and 8 percent were neutral, according to the poll.

Most - 55 percent - believe the issue should be handled at the state level, however, and opinions on how states should act are split. People are about evenly divided on whether their states should allow same-sex marriages - 42 percent favor that and 45 percent are opposed - and tilt in favor of state laws that allow gay couples to form civil unions - 47 percent in favor, 38 percent opposed and 13 percent neutral, according to the poll.

"The different moral standards in different areas, probably, are the biggest reason that same-sex marriages are an issue," said Dale Shoemaker, 54, a military retiree from Boise, Idaho. If gay couples who want to get married live in a state that doesn't allow it, they can move to one that does, he said.

Either way, gay couples "should have benefits," Shoemaker said. "If they're living together and cohabitating and are a couple, (they should have) the insurance and retirement and that type of thing, the monetary benefits."

Nearly 6 in 10 (57 percent) in the poll shared Shoemaker's take when it comes to government benefits. They said same-sex couples should be entitled to the same legal benefits as married couples of the opposite sex. Forty percent felt the government should distinguish between them.

The poll did uncover some inequities. It suggests, for example, that opponents of same-sex marriage were far more apt to say that the issue is one of deep importance to them. Forty-four percent of those polled called it extremely or very important for them personally. Among those who favor legal marriage for gay couples, 32 percent viewed the issue as that important.

Von Aspern is an example of an American whose opposition to gay marriage is deep and abiding. It's based on her religion - she is Mormon - and as such it overrode other considerations when it came to her daughter's wedding.

"It was very difficult," Von Aspern says. "We had to bring them to the house and hug them and love them and tell them these things and not let that keep us apart."

[blkraider]

i will ever marry.don't trust people and ever seen a loving relationship and i'm 49. it's all a joke like the reality shows (entertainment)then you move on. seen cheating in all str8/gay. can you really trust human's?

[rx7ward1]

Barbara Von Aspern: "[W]e love them without being judgmental ... But the actual marriage I cannot agree with."

Both of these cannot be true at the same time ...

Love. You're doing it wrong.

[marisadane]

They are going to be together one way or another, so the ceremony, paper is only important to those couples, what business is the rest of the worlds, they will live and be together anyways. Lets see if the GLBT comnunity would get better approval just calling it a civil union to the straight world and whatever they want in their world, I wonder if the GLBT would get better results in their cause, or if the so called self righous right wingers will just continue the hate and oppression then. Many other countrys have succeeded just fine with gay unions and God hasnt destroyed them yet, many countries that have it seem to be rather peaceful and blessed because they have been kinder then the usa, if balls from heaven fall to the usa, I"M sure is wont be the fault of the gays , more blame goes to the hate and immoral and unkind ways we treat each other instead.

[_MrMike]

I've been married for 21 happy years. Weather or not gay people can be married is of no consequence to me one way, or the other. It doesn't change my life one bit. I frankly cannot understand what the big deal is.........

[markag55]

It is definitely a civil rights issue. However, if the individual states would only issue "Civil Unions" for anyone, gay or straight, then the answer could be solved. Then, both partner would have all the rights and privileges, as well as the responsibilities. The term "marriage" should be left to religious institutions. When you go down to the courthouse to sign the legal paperwork (as it was here in CA for 2 months), it was Party A and Party B. To make it legal, you had to have someone with the authority given by the state to make it so (an ordained minister, rabbi, priest, judge, mayor, or any other civil servant who can now be allowed to sign off on the "marriage", er, I mean Civil Union Certificate. I think the word "marriage" is the problem here. Of course, I realize there are many, many people who are against any type of union between gays, but, as the polls show, they are becoming a minority. Just take the word "marriage" from the government and give it back to where it rightfully belongs, a religious institution. Whoever has the authority, by right of the government, to sign a certificate, it shouldn't matter if it's gay or straight.

I think what I don't understand the most, is why are so many of us "gay" when we were born and raised by "straight" parents? No one "asked" me to join a club in which I would be ostracized by so many people. I knew, since I was in 2nd grade, that I was different. It took me a few more years of going to the library, looking up things in different books, encyclopedias, and dictionaries, to put a name to my "difference."

Luckily, I've been in a relationship for 20 years, and we were married during the two months that it was legal in CA. No one should be able to take that away from us.

If you don't understand homosexuality, then guess what? I don't understand how a man and a woman could be sexually attracted to each other, nor why they would feel confident in each others' arms. If you're straight, you may not understand being gay; however, on the other hand, if you're gay, it's difficult to understand being straight. It's what feels true, normal, real, and loving--something that can't be faked.

So, if you can't understand how men can love other men, nor women other women, then just think to yourself, the opposite is true as well. I'll never truly understand heterosexuality, nor do I want to. However, I give you all the luck in the world to be successful in you relationships; I hope that you would do the same for us.

[ampsanne]

I'm not going to judge the gays, let them be. Will see who's right in the end come Judgement Day. The gays are going to do what they want anyway, and doesn't concern me. Whether their married or not their still going to live together. But I don't believe they should have the same rights as a man and woman being married.

[afmcalax]

What is missing from this argument is a marriage ceremony without a state license performed in a church is not recognized as a legal marriage; but a marriage ceremoniy with a state license not performed in a church is a legal marriage. So the only real certification to get married is a state license which is a secular license; not a religious one. So let all legal-aged, consenting couples go to the state to get a marriage license; then let them decide if they want to get married in the eyes of the state or in the eyes of the state and their religion.

[Forty-Four]

I don't want to bring religion into it, but here goes:
Let them do it, if God has a problem with them doing so, then God will have the chance to take it up with them on Judgement Day.

[Former_Marine_Sgt]

There's also all kinds of questions about whether God actually exists, whether the popular interpetation of Christiantity or any other religion is really correct or not, and so on.

So how do the these specific Christians own what is or isn't the only 'right' way to think/behave/live?

Our Constitution was setup specifically to prevent one religious group from 'owing' our government. Let's get back to what the right wing wants - and get government out of our lives.

(which brings up another point - why does the right wing demand smaller less intrusive government except when that government is being used to shove thier specific morals and religion down everyone's throat? How do they justify this massive exception to thier demands about government? I've never been able to get a valid answer...)

[rextrek]

The religious wackjobs never cease....they think their Religion should Trump OUR country's Constitution...we are NOT a Theocracy, want one..? Move to IRAN!
Our Galaxy, with 100's or BILLIONS of STARS/SUNS..which is 100,000 Light yrs across..in a Universe with BILLIONS of Galaxies...No Sky Gawd,He/She/It/Entity gives a ratz behind what we humans do with our Pee-pees or VaJJ's....In our Galaxy, with 100's of BILLIONS of stars/suns/ planets.... ..the BuyBull means squat, it is a Man-made Book, written BY MEN, for MEN..to keep the Sheeple/People in Line, In FEAR, and the Coffers full $$$ - KA-CHING!!!! SCIENCE FACT: There ARE More Stars/Suns/planets in the Universe then there are..ALL the grains of sand on the ENTIRE planet earth....so no sky fairy cares what you do with your genitalia..its man-made bullcrap.


Read more: http://www.cbsnews.com/8601-201_162-20105897.html?assetTypeId=30&blogId=&tag=contentBody;commentWrapper#ixzz1XwZNWGS5

[rextrek]

The religious wackjobs never cease....they think their Religion should Trump OUR country's Constitution...we are NOT a Theocracy, want one..? Move to IRAN!
Our Galaxy, with 100's or BILLIONS of STARS/SUNS..which is 100,000 Light yrs across..in a Universe with BILLIONS of Galaxies...No Sky Gawd,He/She/It/Entity gives a ratz behind what we humans do with our Pee-pees or VaJJ's....In our Galaxy, with 100's ..the BuyBNull is a Man-made Book, written BY MEN, for MEN..to keep the Sheeple/People in Line, In FEAR, and the Coffers full $$$ - KA-CHING!!!! SCIENCE FACT: There ARE More Stars/Suns/planets in the Universe then there are..ALL the grains of sand on the ENTIRE planet earth....so no sky fairy cares what you do with your genitalia..its man-made bullcrap.

[Lifeson2112]

What a rambling post. The number of grains of sand on Earth as it relates to the existence of God. Keep your hate to yourself. People are guaranteed freedom of religion. You cannot stop them from believing. You are confusing cosmology and religion. They are completely separate.